Christmas is often painted as a season of joy and celebration, yet for many it arrives carrying fresh wounds, heavy memories, and unspoken sorrow. Writer Danielle Finch shares how faith has met her in the depths of grief, offering hope to those learning how to hold sorrow and trust in God together this festive season.
“Danielle, your Grandad has died.”
This was two days ago. Yet more pain entering into a storm of heartache; strokes, Alzheimer’s and fatal heart attacks.
I don’t know about you, but for our family it feels as though disaster strikes around Christmas. It has just turned four years since my own parents traumatically passed away. Yet through navigating my own grief, I have come to fully know that the Lord is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34: 18). My prayer is that whatever you find yourself grieving this festive season, be it a bereavement, infertility, a broken marriage, shattered dreams - you would fully know Emmanuel - God with us.
READ MORE: ‘How grief reshaped my relationship with God.’
For many of us, we have high expectations of Christmas Day. As Christians, we of course want to celebrate and honour the birth of Jesus. But if we’re honest, are we not just as liable as the rest of the world to get swept up in ‘must-dos’? For months we prepare and organise. We make lists upon lists to make sure we haven’t forgotten something even though we inevitably will. We plough through with the aim of getting to Christmas Day relatively unscathed and we expect to feel joyful and relaxed. And praise God for when we do get to enjoy a wonderful Christmas.
READ MORE: Aubrey Plaza’s “ocean of awfulness”, finding hope in the midst of grief
But what happens when life throws us a curveball?
But what happens when life throws us a curveball? When the unexpected happens and we feel as though we can barely breathe let alone untangle the fairy lights? I am by no means an expert, but I would love to take a few moments of your time and share with you what the Lord has taught me through my own grief in the hope that it would provide some comfort to you this year.
READ MORE: Walking with Jesus through complex grief
He chose our chaos. It can be all too easy to think of the Christmas story in the light of the magical nativity scenes pictured on the front of Christmas cards. When we’re suffering unimaginable heartache, we can feel so far removed from these images. Yet we must not forget that Jesus left his throne in heaven and came into humanity’s mess. He obeyed his Father and he chose us. He came into heartache, into a nation under Roman oppression, into a place where he narrowly escaped murder as an infant and mothers wept as their baby boys were annihilated.
He doesn’t abandon us in our grief, he pursues us in it.
He weeps with us. At my Dad’s funeral, my incredible Father-in-law shared the shortest verse in the Bible with us all; “Jesus wept.” (John 11:35). These few words are so powerful. Even though Jesus knew that he would raise Lazarus to life again, he wept at the death of his friend. He didn’t just shed a tear or offer a word of comfort. His compassion and empathy caused him to weep.
Isaiah 53: 3 describes Jesus as a “man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief.” Our Saviour knows grief all too well.
He is with us. In the moments of my deepest pain, when it felt as though I was going to be overwhelmed by my sorrow, I have known the Lord’s presence so intimately. David proclaims in his famous Psalm, “Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me…’ Psalm 23:4.
Upon hearing the news of my Grandad’s death I cried out to God, “Lord, meet me here.” And he did. For me, grief has come in waves over the last four years. Some more powerful and painful than others. But I have learned not to fear them. We can become so used to smothering painful emotions. But when we allow ourselves to truly feel our grief, I believe that the Lord uses these times to show us more of himself and bring about deep healing. There is something truly redemptive about trusting God enough to handle our brokenness.
He is our hope. Pain and suffering are all too familiar in this life, but our hope lies in the promise of what is to come because of Jesus’ sacrifice. “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” Revelation 21:4. Let yourself feel what you are feeling, but keep your eyes on what lies ahead.
In Ecclesiastes 3, we are told that there is a season for every activity under heaven; “A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.” If you find yourself in a season of weeping this Christmas, have peace knowing that joy and laughter will come again. For now, my prayer is that in your distress, you would know comforting, life-giving presence of Almighty God.
No comments yet