Writer Jenny Sanders explores what our global obsession with apps reveals about a deeper human longing for connection. From the rise of social media to China’s starkly named Are You Dead? app, she reflects on loneliness, community and God’s design for meaningful relationships.
There are over two million. mostly free, apps available globally from the online App Store today. In the UK, the most popular are still TikTok, Instagram, Facebook and WhatsApp with Chat GPT rising in demand. It’s a different story elsewhere. In China, where users need to pay for it, the brutally named, Are You Dead? which launched last year, has become the most downloaded App.
Designed for people living alone, the premise is simple. Every couple of days the user clicks a button registering that they’re active. Having nominated an emergency contact number, that person is alerted if the button hasn’t been activated after a specified period. They’re prompted to check in on their friend/relative/employee – a lifeline for those living far from family and friends, those prone to depression or who fear falling ill, and for vulnerable people who have minimal contact with others.
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With a population of over 1.4 billion (1,414,350,11 as of 6.47am on 15.01.26), China also has a falling birth rate and an ageing population. The government abolished their one child policy ten years ago, but the birth rate hasn’t yet overtaken the death rate despite government incentives. Marriage is in decline and divorce increased each year for the sixteen years up until 2018 leaving many single people concerned about their disconnectedness, their future and the heavy responsibility of supporting elderly parents with limited financial resources as the cost of living increases.
With so many Chinese feeling isolated, and almost half the population between the ages of 25–59 last year, it’s not surprising that Are You Dead has become so popular
With so many Chinese feeling isolated, and almost half the population between the ages of 25–59 last year, it’s not surprising that Are You Dead has become so popular; but what does this say about a society?
READ MORE: How apps took me from a Sunday worshipper to a daily devoted Christian
We were made to be in community. In Genesis 2:18 God decreed it wasn’t good for a person to be alone. That doesn’t mean everyone must be married but we all have families – however dysfunctional they may be. None of us is perfect – but our spiritual family is where we should find a real, connected community. God himself lives in community: Father, Son and Holy Spirit exist in their eternal dance of fellowship and mutual honour.
The Old Testament gave specific guidelines for caring for those on their own
The Old Testament gave specific guidelines for caring for those on their own (Ex 22:22–24), explaining how such care was representative of God’s heart (Deuteronomy 10:18; Psalm 68:5–6). Both Paul and James were keen that widows and orphans – those who through no choice of their own found themselves alone – should be taken care of by a family of believers (1 Timothy 5:3–15; James 1:27).
We don’t just need acquaintances or know a bunch of names – looking at the back of someone’s head for an hour each Sunday doesn’t cut it. God has put something much deeper in our hearts that finds satisfaction in honest, unsexualised friendships which encourage, sharpen and comfort us, which share challenges, problems and heartaches, ask hard questions and which are safe places for both laughter and tears.
READ MORE: Friendship by God’s design: finding and becoming faithful companions
Even within his group of twelve disciples, Jesus had an inner circle of three and a specially close relationship with John. If he needed that level of friendship, so do we. In both Mark 6:7 and Luke 10, Jesus sent out his followers in pairs. Mutual encouragement, someone to pray with, share experiences with, encourage and strategise with makes a real difference in both ministry and life. The wisdom of Ecclesiastes 3:9–10 is clear:
‘Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labour: if either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.’ God is the ultimate friend but, in his kindness, he has provided friends and families so no one is permanently alone – three-dimensional relationships with all their flaws, faults and foibles – people who will love us unconditionally and keep walking with us.
The Chinese app is available worldwide under the name Demumu (price 99p today) with an icon like a green Pac-man® ghost, but how much better to invest in and nurture precious, life-giving, authentic relationships in community with other Jesus followers. Let’s keep pursuing those friendships and not be satisfied with anything less.
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