Speaking God’s truth over our daughters

Not much would make me break out my laptop before I’ve even had my first sip of coffee, yet this morning I felt compelled. A seemingly harmless comment from a neighbour during my early morning dog walk has left me thinking. As I head off down the road with our rescued greyhound, my daughter decided to dash after us to come and say hello to a neighbour. She excitedly told them all about her plans for the day before skipping back home. The neighbour turned to me and said, “What a Gabby Abby!” I smiled politely and headed off on my walk.

Now, I am not easily offended and I have no doubt at all that there was no ill-intent in their words. However, I can’t help but wonder whether the sentiment would have been the same had it been my son? I feel it’s far more likely he’d have been described as ‘confident’ rather than there being an insinuation that he was ‘too loud’ or ‘too much.’ Why do we appear to have this ingrained perception as a society that when girls display the same character traits as boys that they are ‘bossy’ rather than ‘leaders’?

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I know from experience the power that words can have on us as impressionable young women. 

I know from experience the power that words can have on us as impressionable young women. I am tall and always have been, not that you would know it as I now spend most of my time sat in a wheelchair. But growing up, I would hear from the adults around me how big I was getting and how I was taller than the boys. I hated it. I felt singled out. Until I met my husband, no-one described my height as a good thing. It was always in a way that implied that I was different or unusual. As a result, I’ve spent most of my life trying to shrink myself in order to feel more normal. I’d stand with my hip bent and slouch to appear shorter because “girls aren’t supposed to be taller than boys.” Yet if God healed me now, I would proudly stand to my full height. Perspective changes everything.

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It breaks my heart when I see my daughter starting to struggle with the same insecurities. That her beautiful long limbs are a flaw. That she needs to take up less space in a world that tells her that she’s ‘too much’. Parenting her has allowed me to uproot lies that the enemy has planted in my own soul and I’m sure that there is much still to be done.

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So as Christians, how do we protect our daughters, sisters and friends from the lies that would stop them being all that God has created them to be?

So as Christians, how do we protect our daughters, sisters and friends from the lies that would stop them being all that God has created them to be? We cannot protect them from every hurtful comment that will come their way But we can certainly advocate for them, lift them up in prayer and speak God’s truth over their lives as well as our own;

• We are God’s image bearers (Genesis 1:27)

• We are fearfully and wonderfully made - long limbs, belly rolls, freckles - every beautiful detail. (Psalm 139: 14)

• We are forever free from condemnation when we belong to Christ (Romans 8:1)

• We are God’s masterpiece in Christ, empowered to do the things he planned for us long ago. (Ephesians 2:10)

A small part of me regrets not sensitively educating my neighbour this morning, telling her how proud I was my daughter had confidently spoken to her, when in front of others she might have shied away. I am still learning as I navigate this aspect of parenting. But I pray that I would be bold enough to correct people and help them challenge their own prejudices and be humble enough to let God do the same in me. Let each of us remember the power of our words and use them wisely to build one another up for the glory of God rather than tear each other down.