“I was a people pleaser and I thought it made me a better Christian”

Writer Danielle Finch shares how she broke free from toxic people-pleasing to seek God’s approval over others’. Her story calls believers to choose truth and obedience over constant niceness.

“How can you be so nice ALL the time?”

About 10 years ago a dear friend posed this question to me and quite honestly, I was flattered. Well if I’m being painfully honest, ‘smug’ may be a more accurate description of how I felt. But over the last decade, I have slowly come to realise that the very quality I prided myself on, could more accurately be described as toxic people-pleasing.

I feel as though I spent many years of my Christian walk, quite proud of the fact that I didn’t ruffle feathers. I didn’t get into arguments. I made every effort to accommodate the needs of other people rather than honouring my own boundaries and I truly believed that this behaviour modelled Jesus’ servant heart.