Life Lessons: ‘OK, Lord, it’s you and me’

I was born in Sale, Cheshire, in 1942. We lived there for about five years before moving to Sutton Coldfield, where I remained until I turned 18. I have one brother, two years

younger than me. We were a Christian family – not especially evangelical, but faith was always part of our lives.

From the age of six, I attended Girl Crusaders (a Bible class for girls in the UK and overseas) weekly. We met on Sunday afternoons and it was a wonderful opportunity to learn about the Lord, sing and have fun.

My childhood in Sutton Coldfield was very happy. I loved sport, music, singing and Girl Guides – eventually receiving the highest accreditation in the Queen’s Guide award. My father was a mechanical engineer and very skilled at carpentry. He built a wooden sailing dinghy, so I learned to sail at an early age and have loved it ever since. Mother was at home and loved giving of her time to help others. She was very artistic.

When I was about twelve, I went on a Crusader house party and realised for the first time that faith was more than just going to church or Crusaders every week. That’s when I gave my life to the Lord Jesus.

Overseas adventures

After leaving school at 18, I volunteered with Voluntary Service Overseas (VSO), which was quite new at the time. I was sent to India for a year to work with the Church of Scotland’s medical mission in Bihar – about 280 miles west of Calcutta, deep in the countryside. I lived with a Christian nurse in her small bungalow while the minister and his wife went home on furlough.

That year was extraordinary. I learned practical medical skills – giving injections, bandaging, sterilising equipment – and even learned to drive a jeep! I often cycled to nearby villages, doing my best to speak in Santali, causing much amusement. I then spent six weeks working in the hills among Tibetan refugees with an American missionary nurse. India was a life-changing experience: I left a teenager and returned home a more mature, sensible adult – though I’ve remained somewhat daring and adventurous!

Early career

Back in England, I began my nursing training at St Thomas’ Hospital in London, starting just three weeks after getting home. Training lasted four years and involved three years of general training and one year working as a staff nurse to earn my Nightingale hospital badge.

In London, I had a Lambretta scooter. I’ll never forget my first time driving around Hyde Park Corner, surrounded by huge red double-decker buses! For days off, I often used to ride all the way to Sutton Coldfield, which was 110 miles away. A scooter wasn’t allowed on the motorway, so I travelled cross-country instead. Eventually, after falling off in thick fog one night, I decided it was time for a car.

I left a teenager and returned home a more mature, sensible adult – though I’ve remained somewhat daring and adventurous!

After qualifying, I worked as a junior night sister at St Thomas’ before doing my midwifery training at the British Hospital for Mothers and Babies in Woolwich. I spent six months there, then another six in Worcester, working ‘in the district’ – much like the characters in Call the Midwife. We delivered babies in people’s homes. It was great fun and deeply rewarding.

Later, I returned to St Thomas’, working as a night sister and then as an administrative sister. I also worked at the Royal Waterloo and Royal Lambeth hospitals.

From 1968 to 1970, I nursed in Newfoundland, Canada, as assistant director of nursing. It was an incredible experience, and I thoroughly enjoyed the six months of ice and snow each year.

When I returned to London, I continued in nursing administration and became a senior nursing officer at University College Hospital (UCH). 

Family life

I married my husband, Frederick Ruoff, in 1974. We met rather by chance: my mother had been staying with me in my London flat and was visiting elderly cousins in Waltham Cross. When she returned, she had been driven back by Fred. I invited him in for supper; on leaving, he invited me to have lunch with him in the City, where he worked as a stockbroker and economist. It took him three months to call to arrange a date though!

Our first date was at the open-air theatre in Regent’s Park, and things blossomed quickly. We were engaged six months later. Fred was 16 years older than me but was very fit and sporty. I hadn’t expected to marry (I was ‘married’ to my work) but it just happened.

Fred’s family were deeply Christian; his father, Percy, had been a lay preacher who spoke at Keswick and many other places. Both his parents had died. We settled in the family home in Waltham Cross – a 400-year-old house that needed serious updating. I was practical and loved DIY (thanks to my father’s influence), so handled much of the renovation myself. We still had builders in for nearly a year, but the result was wonderful. Later, we added a large extension.

Fred’s grandparents had lived next door, as did my brother- and sister-in-law. My sister-in-law and I were great friends, and she was a huge help when our children came along. We had four: Mark (born 1976), now a vicar; Caroline (born 1978), a solicitor, who works for Tearfund; Hester (born 1981), an actor and producer; and Miles (born 1982), a businessman in Hong Kong.

I loved being a mother, though life was incredibly busy. I also kept up volunteering – as a school governor (and chairman), with a FiSH (Friends in Sickness and Health) Good Neighbour scheme and later with the Citizens Advice Bureau.

Eventually, I became a magistrate in Hertfordshire, serving for 24 years, doing criminal work and a lot of family court work, where I often chaired five-day cases. My Christian faith was always at the heart of everything I did and remains so.

We attended Waltham Abbey for five years before moving to Christ Church, Cockfosters, where I’ve been an active member for over 40 years. I’ve served on countless PCCs and deanery synods, and represented the London Diocese on General Synod for 20 years. It was sometimes tough but always a privilege.

For five years, I also chaired the 1990 Group, a conservative evangelical lay group in General Synod and have done more than 20 years of Christian broadcasting and TV – starting with Premier Christian Radio, where I discussed current affairs from a Christian perspective.

Experiencing miracles

Fred had a brain tumour in 1988 when he was 62. It began with mini-strokes, and one day he had a massive fit. He was admitted to St Thomas’ Hospital. Scans showed a tumour above his speech centre, which meant it was too dangerous to operate on. He was sent home to die, with no treatment, only anti-convulsants.

Hundreds of people prayed for him across the UK and beyond. Three months later, a follow-up scan showed the tumour had halved in size; by August, it had vanished completely. The consultants couldn’t explain it, but we could – we told them about the prayer support. It was a miracle.

In 2003, while attending a large evangelical rally in Blackpool, Fred suffered a massive aortic aneurysm. He was rushed to surgery and, by God’s grace, survived – the on-call vascular consultant surgeon was in the hospital that Sunday. Though his recovery had complications, he lived another 15 years, dying in 2018 aged 92. We’d been married 44 years.

Life today without Fred

Losing Fred was surreal. I’d been his carer for his last four years, so in a sense I was prepared, but of course grief has its moments. Listening to music often brought the tears.

During COVID, I was on my own but kept busy, recording myself playing hymns on the piano and giving short talks for Facebook each week, and later helping with online services at church. I also visited neighbours, from a safe distance, just to chat and encourage people.

Now, I live in North London, in a lovely ground-floor maisonette with my own little garden – another hobby. I even help manage the communal gardens; it’s a friendly, caring community, and I can walk to church.

I’m part of a women’s life group at Christ Church, ranging from new mums to octogenarians like me. I’ve always been a bit adventurous. I’ve sailed, parasailed and even towed my own dinghy all the way to Portugal! Life has been full and busy, with the Lord and family at the heart of it.

These days, I spend much of my time encouraging others. My family teases me because I’ll talk to anyone – in a queue, on the street, anywhere! I can’t help noticing when people are struggling; that instinct comes from my nursing days. One senior nurse once said to me: “Look at your patient. What do you see?” It taught me to observe people closely; a brilliant lesson I’ve never forgotten.

Sharing faith can be hard in today’s world, but I do, with much prayer – and I’m hoping to start a Bible study with one of my Jewish neighbours.

One of the first Bible verses I learned was “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13, NKJV). Another favourite is “For I know the plans I have for you…” (Jeremiah 29:11–12, NIV). And, of course, “Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil…” (Psalm 23:4, NKJV).

The Lord has been so good and so faithful. Looking back, I see his kindness in every chapter of my life. Each day I just say: “OK, Lord, it’s you and me. Let’s go on together, my hand in yours and following in your way.”

Follow Alison Ruoff  @alison.ruoff