GREAT SEXPECTATIONS: My husband and I have physical difficulty having sex, I feel like a failure, how do I satisfy him sexually?

In our fortnightly column ‘Great Sexpectations’ the Woman Alive panel answer your questions on sex, faith and intimacy. Drop us a confidential email on womanalive@premier.org.uk and ask us anything. Here, we tackle; what to do when you physically struggle to have sex with your husband.

Dear Reader,

I’m so sorry to hear this. Whenever I hear about Christians experiencing difficulty having sex, it feels like an oxymoron. As we read in Bobbi Kumari’s monthly column, God designed sex so why is it that those who take up the call to follow him, are not experiencing his goodness in this area?

Of course, this isn’t (usually) the fault of the two people involved. We have chosen a route in Church teaching that looks very much like this: Not married yet? Don’t have sex! Flee temptation! But if you are married: Go have wonderful, godly, life-changing sex! There is no in-between and often no guidance on sex itself whatsoever. So I feel for you and your husband, I really do.