Hope Bonarcher explores the viral ‘777 Rule’ through the lens of Christian marriage, asking whether intentional time together can strengthen both relationships and faith. Reflecting on modern busyness, family life, and the sacrificial nature of biblical matrimony, she considers how consistent connection may help couples better reflect the love of Christ in a distracted world.
Married for fifteen plus years with children ranging in age from young to teenagers, I’m well acquainted with the uncomfortable truth of modern relationships: most of us don’t spend enough quality time together. My personal love language, the way I best give and receive love in my marriage, is quality time. This is probably why, the moment I learned about the viral ‘777 Rule’ for relationships, my interest was piqued.
If you’re unfamiliar, the ‘777 Rule’ promotes successful relationship maintenance through consistent acts of dedicated time as a couple: a date night every 7 days, a weekend away every 7 weeks, and a longer vacation together every 7 months.
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This is the fever dream of someone whose love box is filled by time spent with her partner, but there’s more benefit to this concept than simply ticking Love Language boxes. Issues like general busyness, rampant distractibility from screens, and our dopamine-addicted daily life cycles mean we mostly live at a deficit when it comes to opportunities for regular, meaningful connection; it makes sense that the need for this would be compounded in our most intimate human bond.
Is the ‘777 Rule’ a Christian concept? I remember watching a marriage series taught by pastors, Francis and Lisa Chan, where they highlighted scriptural reminders to keep marriage as a function of glorifying the goodness of God, rather than allowing it to become, as it sometimes can in Christian circles, an idol that overshadows the Gospel mission of seeing souls saved to the glory of our Father in heaven.
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If the main goal of our marriages is to be comfortable, happy, and see our personal needs met, Jesus is likely not at the center. That being said, the high calling of matrimony Paul sets out in Ephesians 5, to display the sacrificial love Jesus demonstrated on the cross for His Bride, means how we value marriage and seek to portray it is of vital Gospel importance. If consistently pursuing oneness through time spent together, and making reasonable time and financial sacrifices to prioritize the health of our marriages, are genuine ways in which we seek to promote the beauty of the love Jesus has for His church, maybe we can begin to right the ship of the famine of human connection plaguing society, starting with our own marriages.
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Is the ‘777 Rule’ an unfair expectation for most Christian marriages? At first, I was cynical about the feasibility of the average couple being able to afford the time and financial output of a date every week, a weekend away every seven weeks, and a trip together every seven months. We are in the midst of a cost-of-living crisis, and many people are having to work more for less financial reward. But when viewed through a framework of realism and flexibility, it seems doable.
Maybe once a week, instead of a dinner date out on the town, you go for a walk together, get the kids down early and watch a movie at home, or eschew onscreen time altogether, cook a meal together, and play a board game. Maybe you remove all outward distractions, eat a homemade meal together, and simply talk. Start a book club with each other, read a chapter a week on your own, and discuss it on your date night.
Maybe for your weekend away, you leave the kids with family or arrange an overnight stay with close friends from church; perhaps, if they also have kids, you could trade off childcare. Maybe for your seven-month holiday, you intentionally forgo small luxuries like the odd trip to TKMaxx or a takeaway and put the money you save into the ‘777 Holiday Fund’. Maybe you know someone with a holiday let or timeshare who’d arrange a deal. If you’re planning the trip seven months in advance, you’re bound to find cheaper travel, or perhaps you take up camping.
Maybe instead of every seven months it’s once a year for your regular trip away, and bimonthly for your overnight stays; the point is consistency and effort more than specifics. Good Christian marriages will reflect sacrifice. The ‘777 Rule’ may simply be one way we build the worthy cost of reflecting healthy marriages for Jesus’ sake into a world hungry for examples of relationships so healthy that we actually desire time together.
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