In our fortnightly column ‘Real Talk’ we answer your questions on sex, faith and intimacy. Drop us an email on womanalive@premier.org.uk and ask us anything.
Dear Woman Alive,
My husband is constantly talking to ChatGPT on his phone, and “she” responds in a female voice. He loves learning, so the availability of ChatGPT and other AI tools has been amazing for him. Most of what he uses them for is productive and connected to his work, but I still feel like it’s taking up too much of his attention. How can I encourage him to focus more on his family and on God when he’s so excited about the potential of AI?
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Dear Reader,
I suspect you’re not alone, as artificial intelligence becomes woven into everyday life, many families are working out what healthy boundaries look like.
It’s encouraging that your husband’s interest in AI isn’t centred on escapism or secrecy
It’s encouraging that your husband’s interest in AI isn’t centred on escapism or secrecy, but on learning and developing his work. Curiosity is a gift from God, and technology can be a wonderful tool when it’s used wisely. The issue, as you’ve recognised, isn’t necessarily AI itself, it’s whether any good thing begins to crowd out the best things. Scripture reminds us to “make the most of every opportunity” (Ephesians 5:16). Time is one of God’s greatest gifts, and how we spend it shapes our relationships. If a phone, hobby or even worthwhile work consistently draws us away from being present with those we love, it’s worth paying attention.
Rather than criticising your husband’s interest, try sharing how you feel using “I” statements: “I miss talking with you in the evenings,” or, “I’d love us to have more uninterrupted family time.” Framing the conversation around connection rather than blame is less likely to make him defensive.
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You could also suggest some intentional rhythms together. Perhaps devices are put away during meals, there’s an hour in the evening that’s phone-free, or Sunday afternoons become time set aside for family. Healthy boundaries don’t reject technology; they help ensure it serves your family rather than your family serving it.
You mention wanting him to focus more on God, too. That’s an invitation for both of you. Could you establish a simple habit of praying together before bed, reading a short passage of Scripture over breakfast, or taking a walk where you talk about what God has been teaching you? Often, cultivating shared spiritual practices draws couples together more effectively than telling one another what should change.
One final thought: you mentioned that ChatGPT speaks with a female voice. It’s worth remembering that AI isn’t a person, regardless of the voice it uses. Many apps allow users to change the voice or turn spoken responses off altogether. If hearing a female voice contributes to your discomfort, it’s perfectly reasonable to mention that to your husband and ask whether he’d consider changing the setting.
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Pray for wisdom, and resist the temptation to compete with technology for your husband’s attention. Instead, invite him into something richer: a marriage, family and a shared walk with Christ that no machine can ever replace.
“Everything is permissible”—but not everything is beneficial. (1 Corinthians 10:23) I’ll be praying that, together, you can discover a healthy balance where technology remains a useful servant, not a demanding master.
If any of these issues have affected you, you can call Premier Lifeline for support. Premier Lifeline is a national, confidential helpline offering a listening ear, emotional and spiritual support from a Christian perspective. If you would like someone to talk with and pray for you, call Premier Lifeline on 0300 111 0101.
Our Real Talk column is written by a number of different contributors who make up the Woman Alive panel. The views expressed do not necessarily represent those of the publisher. If you have a question for us, email: womanalive@premier.org.uk
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