Sophie Sanders takes on one of modern life’s most surprisingly divisive questions: are voice notes a gift to friendship or a burden to be endured? Exploring the debate through a Christian lens, she argues that our communication habits reveal something deeper about how we love and serve one another.
It’s time to enter the confessional, friends – to examine your conscience and accept penance for your podcast-length voice notes which, in my humble opinion, are the most divisive topic since Brexit. You’ve probably clocked where I stand on the topic, but for voice note novices, let me explain the controversy…
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Introduced in 2013, voice notes are now a mainstream form of communication, with Britons sending an average of 58 hours of voice notes, that’s two days and 10 whole hours, per year. Proponents – let’s call them note-philes, argue they’re nuanced and authentic ways to share life with your friends. Taking the form of an audio stream of consciousness, they run counter to the tide of curated communication and provide an emotionally layered way to communicate with friends, punctuated by errs and umms and all sorts of unexpected interruptions. Put simply, they’re a hands-free way to send updates whilst sorting laundry, cooking supper, running errands, or commuting in the car, all whilst able to convey the subtlety of how life is treating you at that moment in time – multitasking at its finest.
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Opponents – let’s call them note-phobes, say that voice notes are self-absorbed soliloquies which encourage asymmetrical conversation.
But that’s not the whole story. Opponents – let’s call them note-phobes, say that voice notes are self-absorbed soliloquies which encourage asymmetrical conversation. They’re truly inconvenient for the listener who has to stop what they’re doing, track down their headphones (inevitably out of charge), and then source a pen and paper to jot down a bullet point summary of said friend’s musings. The poor listener can’t skim read the message and then triage it. No, they have to listen until the bitter end to know if there’s been a bereavement, a break up, or simply a bee in the sender’s bonnet. I’m told double-speed listening is a life-saver. But to be honest, the accelerando makes me feel like I’m running out of time on a quiz programme, causing my cortisol to go through the roof and my heart rate to rocket. It’s no wonder voice note fatigue is real. And the stats say it all: a survey conducted by Sky Mobile revealed that 91% of people would rather send rather than receive a voice note.
I think it boils down to this: how do we best love others with our modes of communication?
I think it boils down to this: how do we best love others with our modes of communication? In some circumstances, I’m persuaded that voice notes are a loving way to share life with one another. When I was living alone and commuting on the tube, I used to save up these feature-length podcasts to keep me company during prolonged periods of time by myself. I enjoyed the chit chat, the random interruptions, and the fact that I didn’t have to sit with my own thoughts for hours on end. But now my circumstances have changed, finding spaces to listen and record voice notes feels nigh-on impossible, hospital waiting rooms, bicycle rides, and shared living spaces aren’t conducive to digesting such messages.
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And it’s made me think, hard, about how I can lovingly communicate with my friends, pondering how I would want them to communicate with me if our positions were reversed. That sounds pretty saintly, doesn’t it. But deep down, I know that my heart is bent towards putting myself before others, and so I need God’s help to empower me to love others sacrificially in my communication. As Julian of Norwich said, ‘every act of kindness and compassion done by any man for his fellow Christian is done by Christ working within him. So, with the help of Christ in you, how will you love others best with your communication this week? Whether that’s picking up the phone, putting pen to paper, sending a simple ‘thinking of you’ message, or, dare I say it, recording a feature-length voice note, let’s be those who abide by the platinum rule and put the listener’s preferences above our own and, in doing so, love others sacrificially just like Jesus.
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