How God saved my sister from a narcissist

As I read the text message from my sister, “Please come now”, my mouth became dry, and my heart was racing; fear seemed to overwhelm every part of me. To push through this and go to her was the only option. What was I walking into on this late September evening in 2022?

Casting my mind back to February 2020, when I heard the excitement from my sister, Louise, about the lovely man she had met on the Tinder dating website. I had to meet him for myself; it sounded too good to be true.

Upon meeting James, my sister’s description seemed to match up; he was handsome, kind, polite, and thoughtful in his words and actions, and he looked as if he adored my sister.

READ MORE: GREAT SEXPECTATIONS: My Christian boyfriend was a narcissist

What more could I want for Louise? After all, what does the Bible say about kindness in Proverbs 16:24? “Kind words are like honey - sweet to the soul and healthy for the body”. She had to be in safe hands, I thought.

By March 2020, James had taken up permanent residence in Louise’s home; she had become very anxious and always appeasing towards him. The red flags were becoming very visible. Days, months passed, and there had already been several violent incidents that landed Louise in hospital, one of which involved needing plastic surgery on her lip.

READ MORE: The Church is responsible for preventing abuse and protecting the vulnerable

His manipulation forced Louise to allow him back into her home and heart, time and time again. It was evident that this was narcissistic abuse; it was the (all-him) channel every day. She suffered financially, and he seemed to have a massive entitlement complex, which spilled over to demanding that Louise, be his supply to live, whilst she was slowly dying inside. He had a dependency on drugs and alcohol, and he expected Louise to fund this; he soon started to control what she would wear, when she left the house, and who she could see. She was left a shell of herself and her self-worth utterly shattered.

Louise’s once vibrant family home was now a memory of that beauty; James had reconstructed it, and he certainly made his mark. In all this sorrow, Louise also had to leave a fantastic job she had studied and worked hard to be in, to be at his beck and call each day, due to his controlling and paranoid behaviour.

The whole situation, which was beyond my control, led me to pray out of desperation daily for two years.

The whole situation, which was beyond my control, led me to pray out of desperation daily for two years. I believe God gave me discernment about the truth of her situation and showed me Louise shutting me out of her life was from fear. She needed me not to give up and to keep communication open when she found a time to escape. God made a way, and she siezed the moment.

READ MORE: ‘I survived satanic ritual abuse, this is how Jesus saved me’

And what I walked into in September 2022 felt like a bloodbath. Police surrounded the home. Amidst this, Louise looked bewildered, standing in her hallway with a small, clear bag of ice. I was confused, then I realised a chunk of Louise’s ear, which he bit off, remained in this bag. Louise was dazed; she had dissociated herself from the incident, a survival tactic she had learnt in the moments of trauma living with a narcissist.

The shock of reality soon set in for Louise on her arrival at the hospital, as she started to feel a lot of pain in the affected area. It was finally the end of this awful horror she was living through, Louise said, “there is no going back,” and James, as of this day, remains in prison.

Louise has moved a long way away from the area where the incidents took place, and there is also a permanent restraining order in place to ensure James can never be within any distance of Louise.

Louise has moved a long way away from the area where the incidents took place, and there is also a permanent restraining order in place to ensure James can never be within any distance of Louise. She is finally safe. Louise has a belief in God, and I am praying she will personally know the love Jesus has for her.

On reflection, I recall Matthew 7:15, which describes individuals who appear harmless (like sheep) but are dangerous and deceitful (like wolves). I wonder if this is something you can also relate to?

Thinking on Psalm 21:11 tells us, “Although they plot against you, their evil schemes will never succeed”. My heart is forever thankful, when it seemed like evil prevailed, this psalm proved to be true. God is faithful. Something worth remembering.

If any of these issues have affected you, you can call Premier Lifeline for support. Premier Lifeline is a national, confidential helpline offering a listening ear, emotional and spiritual support from a Christian perspective. If you would like someone to talk with and pray for you, call Premier Lifeline on 0300 111 0101.