GREAT SEXPECTATIONS: How do I set boundaries with a toxic friend?

In our fortnightly column ‘Great Sexpectations’ we answer your questions on sex, relationships and intimacy. Drop us an email on womanalive@premier.org.uk and ask us anything. Here, Dr Kathrine McAleese answers a reader who wants to know how to deal with a difficult friend.

Dear Woman Alive,

I have a friend who I find really draining. It feels like she uses me to ‘vomit’ all her negativity and complaints. I don’t know how to communicate without hurting her feelings that, because of this, I don’t want to hang out with her.  

She is single, has recently moved near us in Scotland, and I know she is quite lonely. I have a family, and I feel guilty that I am not a better friend to her, but when she asks to hang out, I make up a reason why we can’t. She is working as a missionary, living by faith, and life has not been easy for her, but how do I tell her that her negativity, self-pity and critical spirit make me want to walk away from our friendship?