People-pleasing can lead to stress but setting healthy boundaries is a godly pursuit

As we head into warmer days, there are more opportunities for adventure and for meeting up with others, but it’s perfectly fine if large social gatherings don’t feel right for you. In the post-COVID-19 era, social expectations have become more flexible, allowing us to prioritise our free time with stronger boundaries. I’ve gained much greater clarity about my preferences and boundaries. So why did it take a pandemic for many people to say no more often? 

It’s important to address two beliefs that drive the pressure to say yes all the time, as recognising them can help us better navigate our feelings and choices: firstly, the idea that we are responsible for how others feel and secondly, the notion that we should strive to never disappoint anyone. When these beliefs go unexamined, they can become deeply rooted in our lives and might even affect our physical health in ways we don’t always recognise. Notably, there has been a concerning increase in women suffering from autoimmune issues, which are linked to stress, people-pleasing and unchecked emotional burdens. We can cultivate a more authentic and healthier life by acknowledging and challenging these beliefs. It’s not as difficult as it sounds.

Jesus encourages us not to be anxious about anything but to turn everything over to him in prayer. His words are as relevant now as when he first shared them. In Matthew 14:27, he said to his disciples: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” He gently emphasised his presence, encouraging them to let go of their fears and doubts and find strength in him. Courage and faith are ultimately the same thing: by trusting in God, falsehoods fall by the wayside and strength, honesty and faith thrive.

Handing over our burdens to God daily alleviates stress in our lives. Stress is a common issue, and chronic stress affects physical health, as constant high alertness depletes our body’s resources. The fight-or-flight response weakens our immune system and harms our wellbeing. To manage stress effectively, remember that prayer promotes personal growth and transformation. Everyone encounters stress at some point. It’s about accepting it for what it is and not fixating on it.

Stress can be overwhelming with the relentless demands of our jobs, health, family and friends. However, surrendering to God’s guidance helps us navigate our responsibilities and find the strength to respond with courage and faith, knowing that stress is impermanent. Instead, we can see stress and choose to welcome it as an alarm bell, perhaps a sign that we may need to surrender and trust once more, or that we’re holding onto resentments or outdated expectations. 

No passage in scripture better captures how to handle stress than Philippians 4:6-7: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Embrace all that elevates your soul and sense of self-worth, and let go of the rest. 

Through merciful prayer,

may I walk in your light? 

Lord, please guide me in discovering the quiet peace that leads me closer to you.

As the fresh air fills my lungs

and strengthens me,

Lord, gently guide me toward your light, illuminating my path with

compassion and hope.

May I always seek no reward other than you.

Quieten the outside noise,

God grant each of us stillness and peace, 

So as not to distract from the almighty truth, which is you.

Loving Father, we thank you for

your prayer and patience,

Your eternal love fills our lives with beauty.

Please help us to find the courage to

stay true to your word,

Forever without end.

Amen.