Charlotte Philips says we talk a lot about the joys of motherhood, but we rarely talk about the quiet identity crisis that can follow. She shares how stepping away from work led her to a deeper understanding of worth and purpose rooted in faith.
When my daughter was recently diagnosed with chronic arthritis, it quickly became clear that I needed to step away from paid work to help care for her.
As someone who had been working since the age of 16, the adjustment was unsettling. Suddenly there was no monthly salary and no clear answer when people asked what I did for work. It made me realise just how much of my identity had been tied to my career.
In a society that places such a high value on professional success and status, it can feel as though if you’re not striving for promotion or reaching the next milestone, you’re somehow falling behind. Without those markers, it’s easy to wonder whether what you’re doing really matters.
READ MORE: God may be calling you to be ‘unuseful’, your identity isn’t in your busyness
During moments like these, I’ve found it essential to return to God’s word and remind myself how he sees me.
Psalm 139 tells us that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made”. My value isn’t rooted in success, wealth or recognition, but in the fact that I am created in the image of God. Ephesians 2:10 also reminds us that we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works which he prepared in advance for us to do.
Those good works may look different in different seasons of life. Sometimes they involve a career, but at other times they might look like volunteering, caring for family members, or raising children.
Motherhood demands an incredible amount of us, but perhaps one reason it feels so demanding is because it is such an important vocation.
wiping down the kitchen counter for the third time that day, or tidying toys scattered across the living room may feel mundane, but none of it is unseen
So if we find ourselves in a season where we are at home with our children, or if we’re out of employment through redundancy, illness or other circumstances, we can take encouragement in knowing that God measures our lives differently. He looks at our hearts and our faithfulness, not our bank balance, our job titles or the achievements listed on our CVs.
The ordinary moments of life still matter. Ordering the weekly shop when you’re exhausted, wiping down the kitchen counter for the third time that day, or tidying toys scattered across the living room may feel mundane, but none of it is unseen. God knows the love, patience and sacrifice behind those small acts.
READ MORE: Who are you? Do you know your true identity?
On the days when this season feels difficult, I try to remember that it is ultimately God’s opinion that matters most.
No matter what stage of motherhood we are in, our identity must be rooted first in Christ. Through him we are loved, forgiven and chosen. And whatever our current circumstances, we can trust that God is present in every season of our lives — including this one.
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