In our fortnightly column ‘Great Sexpectations’ the Woman Alive panel answer your questions on sex, faith and intimacy. Drop us a confidential email on womanalive@premier.org.uk and ask us anything. Here, we tackle; what to do if the idea of God watching you have sex puts you off entirely.
Dear Reader,
Interesting question. If you are looking for a direct biblical answer then I can share several verses that will do that:
- I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” (Genesis 28:15)
- I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. (Psalm 32:8)
- …the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.(Psalm 121:8)
- The eyes of the Lord are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good. (Proverbs 15:3)
So, yes, it stands to reason that he is also watching us when we are having sex. How does that make you feel? Does that worry you?
I don’t know about you, but growing up I learned to view God as the ultimate kill joy who was always looking to tell me off about everything I did – or considered doing (Matthew 5:28) – that was even just slightly off-piste when it came to being a “good Christian”. And growing up in the Church, we were kept very much in the dark about anything remotely sexual. This created an unhealthy perception of sex whereby it became something wholly unrelated and in some cases – offensive – to God. God = Holy; Sex = Unholy. Because of this, there are many women and men who struggle to have healthy sexual relationships even as fully-grown adults.
And surely, it would be much weirder if God were to put his hands over his eyes every time one of his children had sex?
I wonder if you too, have this perception of sex being a bad thing. Do you see it as something to be done in secret as if dirty or shameful? So first of all I need to tell you that it is not and we are Woman Alive are on a mission to reclaim sex as a beautiful God-created thing to be enjoyed in a healthy way.
And when it comes to being watched, many of us as children quickly learn to hide things from our parents or carers that we feel they may object to and that sometimes includes sex or sexual activity. So I can see that the idea of being “watched” by God, our ultimate parent, might be quite disconcerting.
Read more from Great Sexpecations:
I’m getting married but have no idea about contraception - are some better for Christians?
I think my 15-year-old daughter is having sex with her boyfriend, what should I say to her?
However, it is in isolating sex that we can become like Adam and Eve in the Bible who hid from God because they realised their nakedness. (Genesis 3:7-10) Their heightened awareness made them self-conscious of something they had previously not had second thoughts about. God had been watching overthem, not watching them in a manner of judgement. In the same way, whatever we are doing, God is watching over us as a good parent would over their children.
And surely, it would be much weirder if God were to put his hands over his eyes every time one of his children had sex? Yes, we are made in His image but God is not like us. Sex is not abhorrent to him, nor is he sniggering at the sight of two people being lovingly intimate. So please try not to worry about what God is or is not doing while you’re doing it. Sex is one of his gifts to us, just enjoy it.
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