Writer Sophie Sanders explores the growing conversation around what some are calling a “relationship recession,” as Gen Z increasingly prioritises friendship over romance. While celebrating the deep value of platonic relationships, she asks whether society risks losing something vital if marriage and romantic commitment quietly fade from the centre of our cultural story.
There’s a topic that’s garnering widespread attention in the press. It’s hit not only our nation, but our world. On first reading, the headlines seem melodramatic, perhaps even sensationalist – surely there are bigger fish to fry than the decline in dating? But no, the more I read, the more I realise that the so-called relationship recession is a defining crisis of our generation, a burning issue that simply cannot be ignored.
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In a departure from previous generations, Gen Z – of which, by just a few months, I am one – values platonic friendships above romantic relationships. There’s something wonderfully biblical about the value placed on ‘nomance’ amongst my generation – after all, we’re told in the Bible that ‘sweet friendship refreshes the soul’ (Proverbs 27:9), with Thomas Aquinas reflecting that ‘there is nothing on this earth to be prized more than true friendship’ and Pope Francis remarking that ‘friendship is one of life’s gifts and a grace from God.’
Sweet friendships truly do refresh the soul and are something to be celebrated
Sweet friendships truly do refresh the soul and are something to be celebrated; my experience is a testament to this. The Lord has blessed me with friends who make me laugh when I’m bed-ridden with chronic illness, pray for me and remind me of God’s unswerving character when I grieve the loss of my able-bodied life, and invite me into their lives and struggles, too. That said, it’s worth noting that, sadly, this is not a universal experience: 1 in 10 UK adults report that they have no close friends. It seems that we’re not only living in a relationship recession, but a loneliness epidemic, too.
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But let’s return to the declining interest in romantic relationships. Perhaps this stems from dating app fatigue – relatable, I’ll be honest – or that we’re the first generation to grow up idolising ‘prince-less’ princesses and have unrealistic aspirations and expectations of a potential partner, also relatable. Maybe you resonate with this perspective – time spent with gal pals is your number one priority and you’re focusing on building a successful and satisfying career. Whatever the presiding impetus, it’s no wonder that marriage is down by almost 100 per cent for young people over the past 50 years (Centre for Social Justice, I Do?, 2026).
At face value, this might seem like an absolute win for us as women: no longer controlled by patriarchal structures, we can pursue our own goals and ambitions, something which our foremothers fought for – yes and amen! But whilst platonic relationships are celebrated in the Bible and deserve to be highly prized in our society, I don’t think this should be at the expense of romantic relationships. Marriage exists to mirror the beautiful union between Christ and his bride – it’s a way in which, as humans, we can display this covenant love to the world and also speak of the ultimate love story in which God, who is love, is drawing us to himself (Ephesians 5:31–32).
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Moreover, marriage is woven into the fabric of creation. As the liturgies from the Marriage Service from Common Worship (2000) unpack, it’s a lifelong covenant that’s designed to be the foundation of family life – a stable place in which children are born and nurtured, and an institution which enriches society and strengthens community. And so, it’s unsurprising that the decline in marriage and birth rates will have significant – and negative – societal ramifications. Namely, an aging population, a shrinking tax base, an increased dependency ratio, and a greater level of relational instability – all of which will make it challenging to fund state pensions, healthcare, and welfare costs. Don’t mishear me, the pro-natal cause is problematic for sure: it’s bound up with political campaigns and power-seeking propaganda, and it often brings hurt to those experiencing fertility struggles or who would love to be married, but friendships alone cannot sustain societies.
If, like me, you’re single, you might wonder how you can champion romance and uphold marriage as the bedrock of society
If, like me, you’re single, you might wonder how you can champion romance and uphold marriage as the bedrock of society – perhaps you could babysit married friends’ kids, consciously choose not to live in a singles-only clique, and even, dare I say it, be open to the idea of dating or being set up.
If you’re married, the take-homes are different – your focus will instead be on sustaining a good and healthy marriage and championing friendships as another precious, God-given relationship. This might look like inviting singles round for dinner or simply setting aside time for a date night with your spouse each week. Because ultimately, friendship and marriage are both gifts from God – they don’t need to be mutually exclusive and they don’t need to be placed in a hierarchy.
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