Sophie Sanders reflects on a powerful shift revealed in About The Girls, where teenage girls name everyday women, not celebrities, as their true role models. She explores how ordinary relationships quietly shape extraordinary lives, and why that might change how we see our own influence.
In the recent BBC Radio 4 documentary series About The Girls, teenagers candidly discussed being girls and becoming women. When asked about their role models, the most mentioned individuals were not a-list celebrities, but rather mothers, aunties, sisters, cousins, teachers, and grandmothers. In other words, everyday interactions with these, quote unquote, normal women were the most formative and influential relationships. Behind every great woman is another great woman.
I must admit, I was pleasantly surprised to read this headline, a departure from the pervading rhetoric about the toxic lure of TikTok influencers, airbrushed models, and celebrities making questionable life decisions. But, without doubt, this is my experience.
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I am blessed to have a bevy of women who have championed me, encouraged me, walked alongside me, reminded me of my inherent value, and loved me when I’ve shown my worst colours.
Growing up, and to this day, I am blessed to have a bevy of women who have championed me, encouraged me, walked alongside me, reminded me of my inherent value, and loved me when I’ve shown my worst colours. A hilarious, sensitive, and would-do-anything-for-me mum who knows me inside out and is my biggest champion. Mentors who gave up precious weekend slots to drink endless cups of tea with me and work through what faith looked like in that season of life, taking up the mantle of commending the mighty acts of God to the next generation (Psalm 145:4). A sister who is giggly, godly, gifted, and gentle – thanks, Papa, I took that fabulously alliterative laudation directly from your wedding speech. A godmother who has given me Christ-like counsel in a plethora of different situations and set aside time for me, even when her life is busy and chaotic. I could go on and tell you about family friends, grandmothers, great aunts, and more, but you get the picture.
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If, like me, you don’t have children – for whatever reason – I invite you to join me in this venture, seeking to nurture faith, show radical love, and open up your home for the women of tomorrow.
Not all of the women in the list are blood relatives, though many are. But in each and every instance, they chose – and continue to choose – to show up for and support me. And so, as a single and childless woman, that means that I, too, have both an exciting opportunity and an overwhelming challenge to be the life-giving and life-sharing role model the next generation are searching for. Because as the broadcaster Catherine Carr put it, ‘you don’t have to be a mother to be the significant adult in a child’s life’. It’s got me thinking about which girls and younger women I will choose to actively invest in – and how I might prioritise my time, pursue relationships, and make space for conversation in my everyday life. If, like me, you don’t have children – for whatever reason – I invite you to join me in this venture, seeking to nurture faith, show radical love, and open up your home for the women of tomorrow. It will be costly, for sure, but as you shine brightly for Jesus, he promises that it will bring glory to God (Matthew 5:16).
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Maybe you might offer to mentor a younger woman at church, choosing to set aside unhurried time each week to walk alongside her and discuss the big questions in life and being open to speak candidly about your experience of relationships (or lack of relationships), body image, and all the other things that can feel taboo in a gathered context. Or you might choose to invest in your goddaughter through regular snail mail, making her dance shows, school plays, and sports days a priority as you seek to nurture a trusting and secure relationship. Alternatively, you might volunteer to share your testimony at a women’s breakfast, powerfully testifying to the goodness of God in the face of suffering, loss, and hardship. Because, whether or not you’re a mother, you can be the great woman behind another great woman who, in all things, points to our great God.
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