Sophie Sanders reminds us that quiet, thoughtful women are often overlooked, longing for validation through beauty or social success—but Mary Bennet shows that God’s design for contentment comes from embracing who He made us to be. In the new BBC series The Other Bennet Sister, Mary’s journey of self-discovery and courage is both inspiring and deeply relatable.
With sternly parted hair, a pedantic and holier-than-thou air, and a plain wardrobe, Mary Bennet was most certainly not the literary heroine of my childhood dreams, encouraged, of course, by previous television and film adaptations of Pride and Prejudice. But the reality is that most of us are Marys – we’re not model-worthy material, likely to marry an aristocrat, or gifted with the ability to respond with quick-witted remarks in every conversation. And that’s why the protagonist of the new BBC series The Other Bennet Sister is heart-warming, liberating, and surprisingly modern in its take-home message: as Coco Chanel once said, ‘beauty begins when we decide to be ourselves’ and in the words of a recent news article ‘clever is the new cool’. Reader, there is hope for book-loving, typically overlooked women who have not had a horde of suitors – and it starts by simply being yourself.
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At the start of the series, we meet a Mary who doesn’t recognise her own inherent value
At the start of the series, we meet a Mary who doesn’t recognise her own inherent value, fuelled by her own mother’s scathing remarks about her appearance, her musical abilities, and her ability to navigate the social milieu within which she lives. She’s endlessly compared to her sisters – who are deemed to have buckets more beauty, wit, spirit, and joie de vivre. Through modern eyes, she’s a victim of middle child syndrome. But as the chapters progress, and encouraged by the trailblazing and endlessly kind Mr and Mrs Gardiner, we see Mary’s metamorphosis from an overlooked caterpillar into a beautiful butterfly. It’s simply stunning.
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And it’s as she becomes increasingly comfortable in her own skin that she attracts not one but two romantic suitors, both of whom are eligible in the eyes of the world; indeed, her fascination with geology and moralising sermons are endearing, rather than odious, to both Mr Hayward and Mr Ryder. But more than that, she starts to recognise her own worth and desires, turning down the proposal of the former because – spoiler alert – she does not love him. A choice which is perhaps anachronistic, but oh-so-relevant in this day and age. And, as a fellow book-lover and spectacle-wearer, this has challenged me greatly. All too often, I find myself internalising Charlotte Lucas’ comment – that we have a binary choice between marriage and misery – and thus longing for marriage in an unhealthy way, forgetting that it would be far worse to be in a miserable marriage than to remain single. I’m therefore inspired by Mary’s brave decision to find contentment in her work, friendships, and independence.
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It’s so easy to think that we’d be happier if we were prettier, funnier, and had a string of suitors but, as Corrie ten Boom wisely said, ‘happiness is only found in being secure in Jesus’
It’s so easy to think that we’d be happier if we were prettier, funnier, and had a string of suitors but, as Corrie ten Boom wisely said, ‘happiness is only found in being secure in Jesus’. It’s a truth that’s not yet universally acknowledged, but as we fully embrace who God made us to be – who we truly are – we can find deep contentment and happiness in our singleness. And we do this by choosing to ‘rejoice always’ choosing to reflect his character, enjoy relationship with him, and steward his creation every single day – because, ultimately, we were created to image God and to find our contentment in him (Philippians 4:4, Genesis 1:27).
Whatever our marital status, we all have a part to play in helping others to find their confidence, contentment, and inherent value. Just as Mr and Mrs Gardiner gently encourage, nurture, and champion Mary, we can help those who do not recognise their true beauty to flourish, in the big and the small. Whether that’s engaging with a shy neighbour in conversation about their interests (however niche), helping a sibling choose and outfit for a social engagement they’re nervous about, or reminding a friend that they are abundantly and lavishly loved by their Creator God when they are ghosted by a date, let’s be those who stand alongside and encourage each person we know to be confident and content, whatever their circumstances.
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