Writer Samantha Bailie-McMurdock shares how discovering the introverted personalities of several biblical figures transformed the way she viewed herself. If you’ve ever felt out of place in a world that celebrates extroverts, this message may be exactly what you need to hear.
I never understood why, from early childhood, I always sought a few minutes of privacy during even the most informal social engagements, whether that was during school lunch hour, while interacting with extended family, or having coffee with a few girlfriends. Many may not even have noticed these short trips to the bathroom, but from early adolescence I’ve needed these, what I now call, “breathers,” and I never understood why. In fact, I was deeply embarrassed by it. What kind of Christian woman was I when even entertaining impromptu visitors I loved dearly left me so drained that a good night’s sleep barely rectified the exhaustion?
Recently, I was speaking matter-of-factly to my therapist, Karen, about having to ride the noisy Glider into the city to visit the Apple Genius Bar and feeling depleted afterwards, despite the whole visit, including the appointment, taking less than a couple of hours.
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“That’s completely normal for an introvert,” she said casually over her cuppa.
“An introvert?” I enquired, caught off guard and secretly quite insulted.
“Yes. You feel drained by socialising and need quiet time to recharge, unlike extroverts, who need to be around others in order to recharge.”
I had always thought an introvert was someone who hated people or, at best, was socially inept. But after a brief explanation that my exhaustion was caused by forcing myself to play the role of an extrovert when I was actually an introvert, everything suddenly made sense.
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Extroverts outnumber introverts roughly three to one, and certainly extroversion is often more socially valued in Western society. After all, extroverts are energised by social interaction, making them highly visible, vocal during team brainstorming sessions, and comfortable speaking up in meetings, qualities that are often considered the gold standard in the corporate world. So, within the Boss Babe culture, who would really celebrate introversion? I certainly wasn’t. But then I discovered a rich world of introverted characters throughout the pages of both the Old and New Testaments. Some of the people God used were not just shy or reserved, they were true solitudinarians who drew energy from reflection, thought carefully before speaking, and felt overwhelmed by crowds and social demands. These were my people!
Take Moses, for example. He spent decades in solitude in Midian before his calling to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. He begged God to choose someone else and frequently needed to withdraw to the mountain to be alone. Did the Lord view this man as a pariah? Far from it. God used him as the deliverer of Israel, a lawgiver, and a prophet. In fact, Moses’ reflective nature helped him receive and carefully transmit God’s detailed instructions, including the plans for the Tabernacle and the laws recorded in Leviticus.
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Consider Elijah. After dramatic public confrontations, such as the one on Mount Carmel, he often withdrew into the wilderness or the mountains. In 1 Kings 19:11–13, we see God meeting him in a still, small voice rather than in the wind, earthquake, or fire, fitting for someone attuned to quiet. I love to think that powerful things can happen in stillness.
Then there is Mary, the mother of Jesus. Rather than delivering a magnificent speech upon hearing the incredible message from the angel Gabriel, she quietly answered, “Let it be to me according to your word.” Luke 2:19 tells us that she preferred to process major life events internally, “treasuring up all these things and pondering them in her heart.”
I’m not suggesting that introversion is superior to extroversion. Indeed, we are all made uniquely for God’s purpose within the Body of Christ. What I am suggesting is that, especially if you’re young and comparing yourself to your peers, you should never berate yourself because you don’t seem to fit the extroverted mould of a Deborah, a Lydia, or a Priscilla. God made your soft, introspective demeanour for His purpose, just as He made that of your flamboyant, larger-than-life classmate or co-worker.
There is no “better than” or “less than” in Christ. We are all His when we are redeemed by His blood, and He can use us whether we are an energetic and hospitable Martha or a deep and contemplative Mary of Bethany. I wish I had known this much sooner and realised that the Abigails, Leahs, and Hannahs are just as useful as the Phoebes, Mary Magdalenes, and Miriams.
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