‘How many of us ask more questions than we really need when someone asks us for prayer. Do we really have to know the intricacies of the situation when God knows all and we can lay it before him?’ asks Samantha Bailie-McMurdock.
I was recently placed in a rather uncomfortable position. A close friend (whom we’ll call Eleanor) confided in me a very private matter regarding her son. Being part of a wider circle of Christian women who sensed something wasn’t quite right, I found the stratagem of one lady (whom we’ll call Lily) particularly jarring. Text messages started to arrive,
“Is *Eleanor alright?”
“She just has a few personal issues right now, I replied.
“I’ll pray for her. What’s going on?”
“I’d prefer not to say if you don’t mind” I answered.
“I’ll need to know if you want me to pray,” Lily responded.
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“Just ask that the Lord undertake in this challenging season with her son,” I continued, “After all, he knows the details; lay it before him.”
“After all, he knows the details; lay it before him.”
I thought this would be the end of the matter - but it wasn’t. The next thing I noticed was a WhatsApp message on a WhatsApp prayer group we were members of, asking people to “Pray for Eleanor and the terrible situation with [son’s name].”
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Terrified our friend would think I’d disclosed such personal information and furious that a sister would take such liberties, I had the message removed from the WhatsApp group and contacted Lily asking why she’d do such a thing. “I just wanted to make sure Eleanor was prayed for” was the response.
Just then my phone pinged several times with people telling me Lily had called them regarding Eleanor’s situation asking them if they knew anything.
Frustrated, I contacted Lily and was frank - which is very difficult for those of us who hate confrontation,
Frustrated, I contacted Lily again and was frank, which is very difficult for those of us who hate confrontation: “You don’t need to know every little thing about a situation - God knows it all. Are you sure you aren’t using prayer and our prayer group to facilitate your gossiping?”
Silence..
I continued, “In fact, checking throughout our prayer WhatsApp group I’ve found a lot of probing for information…. But nothing in the way of encouragement or genuine prayer requests.”
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This experience led me to ponder - how many of us ask more questions than we really need when someone asks us for prayer. Do we really have to know the intricacies of the situation when God knows all and we can lay it before him? Are we genuinely curious - or are we gossips? We’re told in 1 Thessalonians 4:11 to “….mind your own business” (NIV) and in 1 Peter 4:15 not to be a “busybody” (NKJV) but many of us, under the guise of being a good Christian use the promise of ‘you’ll be in my prayers’ to extract information we have no business knowing.
Ephesians 4:29 says we should “Let no corrupting talk” come out of our mouths (ESV) but sadly, many of us, through prayer chains cause a great deal of speculation around a brother or sister’s private matter and as such, those prone to gossip will.
How do we put a stop to this? I certainly don’t think we should ever stop requesting prayer but I do think we all need to take stock - myself included and remember we will all on the day of judgement give account for every careless word we speak. That is quite a sobering thought and one we all need to remember before our curiosity sets our tongues waggling.
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