My brother died in the Columbine High School shooting in 1999 and I wrestled with God, but I still trust him

Ashley Glader shares the unimaginable story of losing her brother in the Columbine High School shooting — and how that tragedy shattered her faith before ultimately reshaping it. Through profound loss, unanswered prayers, and years of wrestling with God, she explains why she still chooses to trust him.

April 19th, 1999 I quietly padded down the stairs of our modest home to say goodnight to my big brother John. There were three of us Tomlin siblings, me, eleven years old, my middle brother Patrick, fourteen, and John, sixteen. After giving him a hug and saying goodnight, I started back up the stairs to my room. A thought struck me, so forcefully, it made me stop. It said, “Go tell him you love him again. Go give him another hug, cause you aren’t going to see him again.” My mind was used to anxious thoughts dropping in, but somehow this seemed different. I paused on the top of the stairs and I looked back at him. I saw his buzzed dirty blonde hair and slightly upturned nose. I thought he might think I’m crazy if I went down and gave him another hug so instead I just said again, “I love you. Goodnight!” “Love you too Ash”, he responded.