During Lent forget FOMO, it’s all about JOMO

It’s 22 years since FOMO was first recognised by the Oxford Dictionary and at long last its antidote, JOMO – the joy of missing out – is getting airtime and entering common parlance. And I’m here for it. Freed from the clutches of comparison, JOMO is the art of enjoying disconnection from social demands, finding contentment in solitude, and intentionally making decisions that will support your wellbeing, even if they don’t conform to societal expectations.

For any introverts reading, this might sound delightful: the idea of night after night in your own company is the dream. But, perhaps to my surprise, as an exuberant social butterfly, I’m a JOMO convert. Yes, the concept of enjoying prolonged periods of time by myself baffles me. But I can get on board with embracing unplugged weekends, wearing not-quite-on-trend clothes that feel authentically me, and having the confidence to say no to clubbing, organised fun, and other things that fill me with dread. And as I approach the big 3 0, I see these choices as signs that I’m no longer bound by the opinions and expectations of others. Gone are the days of trying to be one of the cool kids; I’m now in my era of choosing what I want from life and how I want to live it – and I’m happier for it.

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And perhaps to my surprise, as I returned to the gospel accounts this week to see what Jesus might have to say about this cultural trend, it seems that JOMO is an inherently biblical concept. 

And perhaps to my surprise, as I returned to the gospel accounts this week to see what Jesus might have to say about this cultural trend, it seems that JOMO is an inherently biblical concept. Time and time again, Jesus called his followers to a greater joy – a joy that could only come from missing out in the world’s eyes. As he prepared to go to the cross, he told his disciples that ‘whoever wants to save their life must lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. [For] what good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?’ (Matthew 16:24–26).

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This is a radical, life-giving invitation, and one that feels particularly apposite as we prepare to enter the Lenten season – a season to slow down, spend time with God in prayer, and examine our hearts.

This is a radical, life-giving invitation, and one that feels particularly apposite as we prepare to enter the Lenten season – a season to slow down, spend time with God in prayer, and examine our hearts. After all, Jesus often retreated to quiet places to pray, spend time with the Father in prayer, and to prepare his heart for all that lay before him. Sometimes, that meant saying no and choosing not to conform to the expectations of those around him, such as when he took himself off to a quiet place rather than meeting the demands of the crowds (Luke 5:15–16). For Jesus, the joy of missing out wasn’t a selfish choice, but a faithful one – a choice that enabled him to remain rooted in prayer and focused on his rescue mission.

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The joy of missing out goes far beyond turning down invitations; ultimately, it’s saying yes to Jesus’ invitation to have life and life to the full. And so, I’m inspired afresh to carve out undistracted space in my week, away from the constant clammer of alerts and notifications, to spend time in God’s presence and to realign my desires and priorities to his heart, even when that means saying nonconformity to societal expectations and blocking out more space in my diary.

With Lent fast approaching, I’d invite you to do the same. By all means give up sweets, social media, chocolate, or alcohol. But as you say no to the temptation of these things in the office kitchen or at a friend’s dinner party, I invite you to say yes to Jesus in your heart and to ask him for his joy and the strength to serve him faithfully and sacrificially, wherever you are and whatever you do.