Writer and presenter of Christian dating show Third Wheel Dates, Lauren Windle, knows that this ‘season of love’ can feel heavy for those longing for a relationship but there is always hope in Jesus.
No one fills out an application form to go on a dating show without any expectation or hope. I’ve presented the UK’s only Christian dating show for seven series and each person arrives, knowing they’re taking a risk but excited by the possibility of a connection. In some cases they leave with that excitement intact, keen to continue getting to know their partner away from the cameras. In other cases, disappointed, as they didn’t find the match they hoped for.
As Valentine’s Day approaches, many people feel their longing for a partner is put under a spotlight. They see the happy couples around them and the shop windows full of heart-shaped displays and wonder if it will ever be their turn.
The agonising truth is that I can’t make you any guarantees.
The agonising truth is that I can’t make you any guarantees. I wish God would pop down to earth and hand out little cards to each single person, saying if they will remain single or if they will get married and how long they will have to wait until they meet that person. It’s the waiting that’ll get you. It’s the hope that’s been deferred so many times, it feels like it’s expired. It’s the false starts of failed relationships and the sense that you have very few options.
READ MORE: What are your expectations on Valentine’s Day?
There are some guarantees that I can make to you though. Firstly, you have all the love you need. There is no husband on this earth who will sit with you, love you, protect you and sacrifice for you like Jesus. It doesn’t always feel that way and sometimes you just want the physical warmth someone’s arms around you, but it is a truth that will never change. Second, you may think that getting married will give you the reassurance you need; that you’re desirable, attractive, worthy of love. But you are all of those things and you can get that sense of security from God too. He’ll never withdraw that affection or be inconsistent like us humans can. Third, marriage is not the solution to your problems, it’s swapping the perks and challenges of being single, for the perks and challenges of being married. Marriage is hard and there are many people in marriages looking out at your single life and longing for the freedom that they see.
READ MORE: Don’t let Valentine’s Day be a distraction from the rock-solid love of God which doesn’t change
This is all sensible, and you probably already know it in your head, if not in your heart.
This is all sensible, and you probably already know it in your head, if not in your heart. For those who continue to hope, even with an understanding of the above, I commend you. Hope isn’t wispy. It isn’t an ephemeral light that slips through your fingers. Hope takes guts. It means facing pain. It means staring down the realest, deepest desires of your heart and saying: ‘God, I’m not giving up.’
READ MORE: This Valentine’s Day it’s time to stop writing love letters to yourself and read the one from Jesus
Someone once described God’s hope to me as a steel bar. It is heavy and immovable. If you anchor yourself in it, you will be able to weather the storm. Isaiah 40:31 says: ‘But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.’
I can’t guarantee you a husband but I know that God wants to give you so much more. He wants to satisfy every desire you have but sometimes in surprising and unexpected ways. I hope that you will have a life beyond your wildest dreams. I hope God will see your prayers and raise them ten-fold. I hope that you will see your deepest longings fulfilled in him. And that this Valentine’s Day, you will have never felt more loved.
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