How is your Church responding to the loneliness epidemic?

Mother Teresa introduced the extent of the loneliness epidemic far better than I ever could:

“The greatest disease in the West today is not TB or leprosy; it is being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for. We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread, but there are many more dying for a little love” (Mother Teresa in A Simple Path).

We live in a hectic, fast-paced society where the day seems to be over before it has even begun. How easy is it for ‘connecting with others’ to slip further down our ever growing to-do lists? According to ‘Campaign to End Loneliness’, six per cent (3.24 million people) in Great Britain experienced chronic loneliness in 2020.The COVID-19 pandemic only exacerbated this further with 7.1 per cent of people (3.8 million) feeling lonely ‘often’ or ‘always’ in 2022. What a heartbreaking statistic. 

How loneliness affects us

Loneliness can affect anyone, at any age. Not one of us is immune. It is quite possible to be in a room full of people and feel exceptionally lonely and isolated. Yet, due to their physical circumstances, there are certain groups of people who have a higher chance of being affected by this epidemic; older people (including those in care homes), the widowed, single parents, those in rural communities, people with physical or learning disabilities as well refugees and asylum seekers. According to the UK Government, those who are 16-24 years old are also at an increased risk. The list could go on. But the sobering truth is that an increasing number of people are finding themselves increasingly alienated from the world around them. 

The impact of chronic loneliness and social isolation goes far beyond people’s emotional state. Government research shows how devastating the effects of persistent loneliness are. Estimates show that around 60 per cent of people experiencing chronic loneliness experience mental distress, compared to 15 per cent of people who are not chronically lonely. It can also hugely affect our physical health, with research showing an association with elevated blood pressure and acute stress responses. Most heartbreakingly of all, loneliness can increase the risk of early mortality by 26 per cent.

How can we respond as Christians?

However bleak the above statistics, as believers we know that our God cares and that each of us has inherent value. In Isaiah 41:10, God tells us not to fear because he is with us. This knowledge alone can provide us with a massive sense of hope and peace. The Bible clearly and repeatedly tells us of God’s heart for the lonely. Right at the beginning of creation, God declares: “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). It was never his intention for us to live in isolation. Psalm 68:6 tells us that he places “the lonely in families”. We are immensely privileged that as part of his Church, we are now members of God’s family (see Ephesians 2:19) and get to extend this invitation to others. 

I believe any Christian looking into scripture for answers and solutions to the loneliness epidemic can only draw one conclusion: that responding is not optional. If we look together at Jesus talking about the final judgement in Matthew 25, we come across a well-known passage:

“Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was ill and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me” (vv34-36).

Does this list of scenarios not look strikingly similar to our list of people groups more likely to experience chronic loneliness? Jesus laid down our responsibilities very plainly: “Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me” (Matthew 25:45).

As the Church our responsibility is clear: we are called to be God’s hands and feet on earth reaching the lost and lonely. The sobering statistics regarding loneliness show that there is much for us to do. Yet there are some incredible examples of how the need is already being met through the combined effort of faithful Christian organisations and charities in partnership with local churches. 

Noticing and caring 

I have had the massive privilege of speaking with some incredible women spearheading some of these initiatives, including Gemma from Truth Be Told and Debbie from Anna Chaplaincy (see boxes below). The same message has been reiterated time and time again: behind any project that we put into place, we must have a heart for noticing people on the peripheries, be intentional in our relationships and, perhaps most importantly, give of our time. In our chaotic schedules, it truly is an incredible example of God’s love when we intentionally notice people, slow down and simply give our time and presence.

Anne and Phil Knox are chaplains volunteering weekly at a shopping centre in their hometown of Runcorn. They have very clearly seen the impact of this dedication. Over the last few years, they have been regularly visited by a gentleman experiencing a very turbulent time in his life who felt completely alone. Initially, his attitude was bitter and confrontational. Yet as time went on, he opened up and shared more and more of his life with them and regularly sought them out. He recently confided to them that he could not have managed the last five years without the chaplains. What an incredible testimony of individuals displaying God’s compassion through the faithful giving of their time.

My prayer is that we as individuals and collectively as God’s Church would come before him and reflect on our own attitudes and behaviours towards those who are isolated. Are we truly reflecting who God is and his heart towards them? A fantastic place to start is the Christians Together Against Loneliness (ctal.uk), which is a group of Christian organisations working in unity to combat loneliness throughout all stages of life. Not only does this include the organisations mentioned in our case studies but many others too, including Parish Nursing Ministries, which enables registered nurses to use their expertise in faith-based practise within their own communities, reaching those who are often feeling the devastating effects of prolonged isolation.

The task ahead may seem daunting. There is so much more that needs to be done as this epidemic of loneliness devastates lives across our nation. Countless people are desperately longing to be known, seen and loved for who they are. This is a desire that God has placed in every human heart and finds its true fulfilment in him. As we prayerfully consider our response as a Church, let us root our actions in what, ultimately, should be the aim of our lives day by day: “to act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8).

Case study: Truth Be Told 

truthbetold.org.uk

Founder: Gemma Gillard

What they do: Truth Be Told is a Christian storytelling organisation that helps people to tell parable-style, gospel-filled stories to people of all ages, cultures and abilities.

They seek to use the power of storytelling as Jesus did.

Why: They want to welcome those who are lonely into the family of God and help that family to be available to everyone.

How does this look in practice:

Taking families with young children into care homes to share stories, music and hope with the residents and staff.

ESOL (English for Speakers of Other Languages) groups: using the same curriculum to support women and children from refugee and asylum seeker communities as they learn the English language.

Feedback: In their December reflections, storytellers Paul and Julie from Poole shared how some of their older friends chose to stand and join in with singing the ‘Hokey Cokey’ together as a group, which was lovely to see. They also shared about a special conversation they had with one of the residents about being known and loved by the God of a great universe and how we can be forgiven.

How churches are involved: Churches can partner with Truth Be Told and use the resources to reach those within their own communities. Some churches have managed to successfully merge the ministry with their current parent/carer and toddler group.

Hopes for the future: Up until now, Truth Be Told has solely partnered with local churches and will continue to do so. However, they will soon be starting a low-cost monthly scheme for individuals who are passionate about storytelling to access some training, a set of stories and a warm welcome to use how they feel called to. For more information visit truthbetold.org.uk/joinus

Truth Be Told hopes to expand to look at running groups for adults with learning difficulties and children with Special Educational Needs.

Case study: Anna Chaplaincy

annachaplaincy.org.uk

Founder: Debbie Thrower

What they do: Anna Chaplaincy is a community-based chaplaincy (part of BRF Ministries), which enables the Church to meet the spiritual needs of older people in their communities. Anna Chaplaincy aims to raise the profile of older people, re-embed a sense of value for them and honour what they can contribute to society. 

Why: The spiritual needs of older people can often be left unmet, especially if they are not as mobile as they once were or may be living in a care home setting.

How does this look in practice:

Chaplains will use their relationships with organisations within their own communities to identify those individuals who might be experiencing loneliness. Individuals may also be referred to an Anna Chaplain via social prescribing.

Patiently and non-judgementally sitting with people and listening to their stories.

Accompanying people through spiritual questions that can occur towards the end of life.

Some chaplains also offer prayer and support as people pass away.

Feedback: Beneficiaries frequently say: “This is such a gift to me. Thank you for listening to me.”

Beneficiaries attending drop-ins hosted by Anna Chaplains have said: “I love coming here because this is the only place I am called by my name in a week.”

Anna Chaplains are also serving huge numbers of people living with dementia and see the impact of using a multi-sensory approach in meeting their spiritual needs and helping them encounter God.

How churches are involved: Anna Chaplaincy works through local churches, as they are best placed to meet the needs of their own communities.

Churches make the appointment of a suitable Anna Chaplain and ensure that appropriate safer recruitment and safeguarding policies are embedded in the ministry to protect vulnerable people. Churches should also offer pastoral support for an Anna Chaplain as the situations they are helping people through can often be very challenging.

There are 425 Anna Chaplains nationwide in a rapidly growing network.

Hopes for the future: Anna Chaplaincy is looking at how they can further support carers as well as those living with dementia and continue to develop high-quality training for the network in their ministry.

Further resources

Cinnamon Network: The Cinnamon Network is a fantastic resource aiming to equip UK churches to implement established community action projects to meet the need in their local area. cinnamonnetwork.co.uk

Friendship Lab: The first charity of its kind, Friendship Lab empowers adults to make their friendships thrive through courses, media and research. Their evidence-based Friendship Lab Course is taking enrolments now and a small group curriculum is on its way, designed to help churches connect with their communities. friendshiplab.org

Books for further reading

The Best of Friends by Phil Knox (IVP): a great biblical exploration of friendship.

God is Friendship by Brian Edgar (Seedbed Publishing): one of the best, accessible theological explorations of friendship around.

Spiritual Friendship by Wesley Hill (Brazos Press): fine thoughts on friendship in an age besotted with romance.

Transforming Love by Amy Boucher-Pye (Form): though focused on friendship with Jesus, this book offers a deep exploration of the relationships between Jesus, Mary, Martha and Lazarus along the way.