I waited for a husband and God answered my prayer when I was 45

One of the major battles I have faced has been in the area of singleness. At 23 I left South Africa for a six-month adventure in the UK with very strong intentions of going back home, however I ended up staying. In England my dating life was challenging.

At 28 I become engaged to a man who turned out to have very complex issues and the relationship broke down six weeks before the wedding when his story came fully into the light. This was absolutely devastating and I didn’t know how I would ever recover from such a heartache. But it was during this very dark season of my life that the Holy Spirit dropped this promise into my lap while I sobbed on the floor in my room: ‘Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.’ (Isaiah 43:18-19)

READ MORE: I felt God ask me to remain single and my book, Nun’s Drift, contains what I learned about acceptance

This was back in 2009 and as the years rolled on, I watched people get married and have babies, but there was no shift for me. I had relatives trying to set me up but it never worked out for various reasons. This whole period was emotionally turbulent as I went on dates with a variety of men and each time had a disappointing encounter. Some people suggested that I consider dating non-Christians but with good values as it seemed impossible to find a decent Christian man. Other people started labelling me as too fussy, too Christian, too XYZ. Again, I had to stick to prayer and focus on what God said of me.

As time passed I did other things to keep busy.

As time passed I did other things to keep busy. I studied further. I joined hobbies from calligraphy to photography, hiking groups, tennis and badminton and cooking classes. I did mission trips to Swaziland and Mexico and I moved to Australia for nearly two years. I made the most out of my life but always carried a sadness that the one thing I wanted was not happening for me.

My mum has played a huge part in supporting my journey during these years. She never put pressure on me to be married by a certain age or to marry at all. She simply encouraged me to focus on living a life that brought glory to God and to carry on doing things that I loved. She fully encouraged me to trust God always no matter what came my way.

READ MORE: Miranda Hart’s marriage news has a message of hope for single Christian women who want the same

At the end of 2024 I went on a trip back to South Africa and celebrated my 44th birthday with extended family. 

At the end of 2024 I went on a trip back to South Africa and celebrated my 44th birthday with extended family.  Once back in England I got ready for the Christmas celebrations. It is always a tricky time because somehow this most joyous season highlights singleness. I decided to re-join the life of online dating despite having a love/hate relationship with this tool. I gave it another chance but with very low expectations of a successful result. On the 22nd December I matched with Brian, a man who had never been married before, had no children but lived 500 miles away from me in Aberdeen.

Brian did not waste time. He was polite and friendly but also to the point and asked me what my non-negotiables were. January came around and we were still messaging and then on the 5th January, Brian asked if he could call me. We spoke for nearly two hours.

READ MORE: Married at 54: ‘I was willing to wait’

At the start of each year I like to write my hopes and promises from God on my prayer board and one of the things I wrote was, “Disappointment is not my portion”. I was enjoying my exchange with Brian but I had been down this road so often of getting to know someone and thinking, ‘this could be it!’ and then something happened and it fell apart and never truly took off. I had also prayed that if this was God then by the 22nd of January (a month since we started speaking) Brian would suggest we meet up. If by this date he had not said anything, I was going to stop interacting with him. Two days later, on the 9th of January, Brian called me and asked what would I think of him coming down to meet me - I had not expected God to answer my prayer so quickly!

Brian arranged to visit, booking his flights and accommodation straight away. At this time my mum was also praying for me that if this wasn’t God then the meeting wouldn’t happen.

In the meantime Storm Éowyn hit the UK and Brian’s flight was cancelled. I recall feeling disappointed but also at peace because of my mum’s prayers. Brian kept calling me and providing an update of what the airline was saying and in the end they arranged for a new flight on the 25th of January. One of my cousins knew what was going on and she put a positive spin on it by pointing out that these sorts of situations allow us the opportunity to have insight into someone’s character and the fact that Brian had stayed in communication and still planned to visit showed promise.

So the meeting went ahead in January and it was lovely. We agreed that I would go up to Aberdeen the following month. Since then we have seen each other every month and we speak every day. On 22nd March 2026, 15 months from when we first connected online, we will be getting married at the ripe old ages of 45 and 48 respectively and I’ll be moving up to Aberdeen.

Father God has taken care of so many details that are valuable to both of us and our hearts are bursting with joy. We could not be more thankful for a godly connection and we are so grateful that we did not compromise during the waiting season and say yes to unsuitable matches.

Always remember that if God can do something in someone else’s life, he can surely do it for you. Your path may look different to mine and therefore the provision will look different, but he always comes through and what he has in store for you will be just what you need.