Thinking of going back to work? Here’s what no one tells you about career breaks

Are you feeling the pull back into the workplace? Perhaps you’re feeling that itch for a new challenge or the pressure of increasingly slim financial margins. If you’ve been out of the paid work market a while, you’re not alone.  

Career breaks are normal

Research shows that around half of all UK women take a career break, compared to just one in five men. In fact, by the time women are over 55, around one quarter will have spent five years or more out of the workplace. The main reason for career breaks among UK women is related to childcare (70%), followed by personal health reasons (such as menopause symptoms). 

Despite what we might feel about the messaging from politicians or other societal voices, this is not a problem. If you are reading this as a woman on a career break, hear me loud and clear: you are an asset, not a problem to be solved. Most women choose their career breaks and are deeply grateful for the time it gave them with their children, for their body to heal or to care for a sick loved one. Career breaks are very rarely a ‘break’, but a pivot away from the workplace to focus on other richly valuable and rewarding work – just without a payroll. 

Career breaks don’t just strengthen the relational and pastoral web of our communities. The Office for National Statistics estimated in 2023 that the annual value of unpaid household services in the UK came to around £1.2 trillion. Estimates vary, but if you are a stay-at-home mum, your equivalent salary (based on what you save your family and society) would come to around £30,000-45,000 a year. 

Why, in an article about returning to work, am I making such a case for the value of not being in the workplace? Because most women looking to return to work start their job-hunting era with massively low confidence about their worth and ability within the paid work market. We feel our anxiety rise as we read each job description, feeling like we’re behind the curve or the odd one out trying to fit back into the mould. It’s important to start by reframing this, because any job application or interview that starts with you discounting yourself isn’t going to get very far. 

The truth is that you have been doing valuable and often demanding work – work that contributes not only to your family and community, but to the wider economy too. Much of it is also far more transferable and marketable than you might realise (we’ll come to that shortly). Of the 550,000 women currently on a career break due to caring responsibilities, 420,000 say they want to return to paid work at some point. Remember, around half of all UK women take a career break during their lives. If you are in one now, you are not the exception – you are part of the majority. Career breaks are not unusual; for many women, they are a normal part of life. Returning to work may take time, and it may not look the way it once did. There will be challenges to navigate, but women across the UK are doing it every day – and if that is what you want, you can too!

What do you actually want?

Job hunting, for anyone, can be a lesson in perseverance and resilience. The job site Indeed recommends making 10–15 applications a week to have a good chance of finding a successful position (uk.indeed.com/career-advice/finding-a-job/how-many-applications-to-get-job). So, before you start panic applying for anything you think you might stand a chance of getting, it’s worth reflecting and taking stock of what you really want out of work and out of life, and the kind of positions that would fit into these values. There is absolutely no point in successfully gaining a position that requires hours you can’t or don’t want to do, or tasks you dislike. 

This is important because often career breaks, or the reasons behind them (such as becoming a parent, grieving loss or undergoing changes in our personal health), fundamentally alter our values and priorities in life and work, and sometimes our capacity too. Part of the challenge of returning to work is that most women don’t just want to ‘return’. After I had my daughter, I didn’t want to have to travel overseas for the educational conferences I project managed anymore. Suddenly, being geographically present and quickly available was extremely important to me. Like 93% of other women returning to work, I also wanted to be part-time (timewise.co.uk/article/what-do-women-returners-want/).

Career breaks fundamentally alter our values and priorities in life and work

Interestingly though, while I wanted fewer hours, the content of my work was more important to me. I wanted the hours spent away from my kids to be worth it and meaningful. Becoming a parent had taught me that I was capable of way more than I had previously thought (being a parent is relentless!), and my ambition had grown alongside my self-confidence. I wanted my paid work to stretch me, and I wanted to utilise the leadership lessons I’d picked up while being the toddler-mum ‘boss’ to two delightful but demanding and unpredictable negotiators. In the end, all three of my promotions happened while I was a part-time working mum. 

What about you? I have a set of questions I ask nearly all my coaching clients (based on Marshal Goldsmith’s Wheel of Change, marshallgoldsmith.com/post/the-wheel-of-change).

You might want to think through them for yourself:

What do you want to preserve in going back to work?

For example:

still doing the school run

not working the school holidays

flexibility to take dependants to hospital appointments

being geographically close to dependants 

a calmer pace of life for your mental health.

What do you want to create in going back to work?

For example:

greater financial stability

a new way to challenge your intellect and mind.

to gain experience in a particular area

more independence

ability to fund things (eg clubs for kids or caring assistance for elderly parents).

What do you want or need to eliminate in going back to work?

For example:

financial instability or debt

being the sole carer for dependents.

boredom (Don’t hate me! But, even among the joy, this is a challenge for some with caring responsibilities)

a lack of rhythm or structure in life.

What do you need to accept in going back to work?

For example:

reduced flexibility or control over your time

less space to focus on your own wellbeing (eg time for exercise)

taking a different or less senior position, if professional qualifications have expired

being prepared to play the long game to get where you want to be in the workplace

you may need to complete – and possibly fund – additional training to help you move into the role you want.

What do you have to offer?

However you answer the above question, remember that Psalm 139:14 tells us that our starting place as children of God is being “fearfully and wonderfully made”. Just as God can equip us for every good work in ministry (see 2 Timothy 3:17), He can also equip us when our work exists outside of church ministry. (I could write a whole other article on how our workplaces are part of the good works we are called to!) 

Most women looking to return to work start with massively low confidence

You may feel like your experience ended years ago when you resigned, but I very much doubt that is the case or needs to be going forward. As Christian women, we often have even more to offer when returning to the workplace because most of us are volunteering in some capacity. These can be great ways of developing transferable experience and skills, but we need to get better at recognising this and showcasing it in a way that shows value to an employer. For example:

Running women’s ministry events 

Reframed: Planned and delivered community events for women, managing logistics, communications and volunteer teams. Coordinated end-to-end event delivery, including scheduling, budgeting and stake-holder communication. Led and supported a team of volunteers to deliver engaging and well-attended events.

Teaching kids’ work

Reframed: Planned and delivered engaging group sessions for children, developing communication and organisational skills. Led activities in a team setting, ensuring a safe and structured environment, and trained new volunteers who joined the team. Managed group behaviour and adapted teaching approaches to suit different needs.

Volunteering on the pastoral care team

Reframed: Provided pastoral support to individuals facing complex personal challenges, demonstrating empathy, confidentiality and strong interpersonal skills. Coordinated care within a team with a robust safeguarding framework, ensuring appropriate support and referrals where needed (such as to debt centres, GPs and professional counsellors).

Many of you may also volunteer in toddler groups (or have even set one up – talk about entrepreneurship and marketing skills!), help with church accounting, cook for big events, run social media platforms or plan PTA fundraising events. You may have also had to manage multiple health agencies as part of caring for a dependant. These all utilise excellent skills for workplaces – don’t discount or undersell them! AI is a great tool for reframing your experience for your CV in minutes. Just pop your experience into the tool and ask it how this demonstrates skills for the workplace generally, or for the specific job you have seen advertised, and it will help you present this experience most effectively. 

Who are you connecting with?

Most women are willing to help other women. In church, we’re comfortable with spiritual mentors, but there will be women in your church or wider community who could be work mentors too. Who could you ask? A coffee and a chat, a review of your CV, a practice interview or some work experience (even just a day of shadowing) can all be helpful. Do they have a network or contact they could link you up with? This might feel scary, but I promise you 99% of women won’t mind, and may even be flattered to be asked. The community of church doesn’t end when we walk out of the building on a Sunday afternoon. 

There are also many organisations helping women get back into work, even for the first time or due to criminal convictions. Their offerings range from free office clothing and interview practice to paid internships or free training. 

Returning to work is going to be a process, a change for the whole family, and require a fair bit of prayer. But you’ve got this, girl! There is a whole world of possibilities ahead for you.

Helpful organisations

Back to Work backtoworkuk.com

Dress for Success dressforsuccess.org

Mothers into Work mothersintowork.com

Smart Works smartworks.org.uk

STEM Returners stemreturners.com/ (for those with a STEM background)

Super Mums investinginwomen.co.uk/job/returner-programme-supermums

The Grow Programme thegrowprogramme.org

UK Government Returner Toolkit gov.uk/government/publications/returner-toolkit-helping-you-back-to-work

Women Returners women-returners.co.uk

Women’s Work Lab womensworklab.co.uk

Working Chance workingchance.org (for women whose career break is due to criminal convictions)