In our fortnightly column ‘Great Sexpectations’ we answer your questions on sex, faith and intimacy. Drop us an email on womanalive@premier.org.uk and ask us anything. Here, the Woman Alive team answer a woman who is angry about being single.
Dear Woman Alive, I broke up with a long term boyfriend two years ago, when it was evident he was not going to marry me. I have been single ever since, and I have begun to feel angry towards my married friends - why did it work out for them and not me? Also, I feel married people all hang out together, and I feel left out because I don’t have a partner. I am a Christian, and aware of the dangers of idolising marriage, but I just feel angry, and don’t know what to do with the emotions. Any thoughts?
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Dear Reader,
First, I want to affirm that your feelings are completely valid. Experiencing anger, frustration, or even jealousy after seeing others married while you remain single is a natural human response. It does not make you a bad Christian, and it doesn’t mean you’ve failed spiritually—it simply shows that your heart longs for companionship, love, and belonging.
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It can help to name your emotions honestly and bring them to God in prayer. Psalm 62:8 encourages us to “trust in him at all times, pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.” Being transparent with God about your anger and disappointment allows you to process these emotions instead of suppressing them.
You might also reflect on the distinction between longing and idolatry.
You might also reflect on the distinction between longing and idolatry. Wanting a partner is natural and good, but making marriage the measure of your worth can deepen disappointment. Ask God to help you cultivate joy and purpose in your singleness while keeping your hope in him, not in a relationship.
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Practically, you could consider ways to build friendships and community outside of couple-centered circles.
Practically, you could consider ways to build friendships and community outside of couple-centered circles. Volunteering, church groups, or social activities can create meaningful connections and remind you that your value is not dependent on relationship status.
Finally, it may help to redirect your focus toward gratitude and growth. Journaling about God’s faithfulness in other areas of your life, or investing in passions and friendships, can gradually soften anger and create space for hope. Romans 8:28 reminds us that God works all things for our good, even seasons of waiting.
Remember, it’s okay to grieve the loss of a hoped-for relationship and to feel anger, it’s part of healing. Be gentle with yourself, and allow God’s love to fill the gaps where frustration and comparison creep in.
If any of these issues have affected you, you can call Premier Lifeline for support. Premier Lifeline is a national, confidential helpline offering a listening ear, emotional and spiritual support from a Christian perspective. If you would like someone to talk with and pray for you, call Premier Lifeline on 0300 111 0101.
Our Great Sexpectations column is written by a number of different contributors who make up the Woman Alive panel. The views expressed do not necessarily represent those of the publisher. If you have a question for us, email: womanalive@premier.org.uk
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