Katherine O’Neill challenges the quiet insecurity that creeps in when we compare ourselves to high-profile Christian women who seem to have it all together. What if the real measure of faithfulness isn’t found in public impact, but in the unseen, love-filled moments that God values most?
Do they bother you? The Christian heroines doing so much for God? The beautiful senior pastor, founder of women’s ministry hub, and oh yes, at the same time mother to multiple perfect looking children. Or the event speaker, the author, the women that are living for God in a public sphere … Not to mention Her Grace (don’t you love saying that?) Dame Sarah Mullally, from cancer nurse, to Chief Nursing Officer, to Archbishop. When you look at these stars, your first thought might be ‘Wow!’. But is your second thought ‘I’m not good enough’ ?
The comparison can hurt - but what if we are using the wrong measure? We assume that the evangelist who brings many to Christ is many times better than the everyday Christian who brings just one. The founder of an organisation that feeds thousands is thousands of times greater than the ordinary person who buys a meal for one homeless person. We think bigger is better.
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What if, when we compare ourselves with these greats, we are seeing as the world sees?
What if, when we compare ourselves with these greats, we are seeing as the world sees? What if we are falling for celebrity culture? In Matthew’s gospel, when the disciples are quarrelling over who is the greatest, Jesus calls a child. There you are, He says to them, this kid, who has achieved nothing, is just as great in God’s eyes as any of you (Matthew 18:1-3). The Kingdom has no celebrities.
‘People look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart’ (1 Samuel 16:7). What if true Christian heroism is not about outward achievements, but about the loving heart?
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I remember Nia, from our women’s prayer group, struggling with her difficult teenager. Worn down by his disrespect, getting nowhere with communication, she asked God ‘What on earth can I do?’. ‘Give more love’, He said. So she did. She responded to everything with love – not indulgence or doting, but genuine love – and things began to change.
Then there was Ellen, my school friend’s mum. Her husband of fifty years had gone into dementia care. He didn’t remember much of their life together. Sometimes he wasn’t sure who she was. She went on visiting him, day after day. ‘How do you keep going?’ I asked her. ‘I love him’, she said. These women will never be famous, but their heroism is available to us all: we can be heroes in love. Who’s to say that these ordinary and yet extraordinary actions aren’t just as valuable in God’s eyes as anything the Christian have greats have done?
Jesus tells the disciples that the widow’s mite is worth far more than the hefty donations of the rich (Luke 21:1-4), because of the love it represents. She has given away her last penny, not even thinking what she will eat tomorrow. She’s crazy. She’s madly in love. That’s what makes her seemingly tiny gift an example for all time. She shows us that whatever we do out of love for God is treasured: He’s not looking for quantity. If your child gives you a present, do you wonder why they didn’t get you more?
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Let’s stop comparing. If another Christian has done something amazing, that’s not because of their special merit. It’s just the kind of thing that happens when people love God.
Let’s stop comparing. If another Christian has done something amazing, that’s not because of their special merit. It’s just the kind of thing that happens when people love God. Our heroines show us, not what they can do, but what He can do, in anyone’s life, if they love Him. Rather than being discouraged by comparison, we can be inspired by this possibility. And maybe our actions, that look so small, might do wonders unknown to us. Love is powerful. Perhaps you too have done heroic things, even without noticing. God, after all, can feed five thousand people with one lad’s lunch. Maybe He’s done that with yours.
So if a Christian heroine makes you feel small, reconsider. Your love can be as great as theirs, and God will do miracles with it, whether or not you see them. Or as another heroine, Mother Teresa, put it ‘We can do no great things, but only small things with great love’.
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