An anonymous contributor shares the story of how God pulled her back from the brink of prison to give her a second chance and show her new life away from addiction and trauma.
I was brought up in Clydebank, Scotland and had a happy childhood. I went to the Good News Club with a lovely lady in my street and heard all the Bible stories and gave my heart to the Lord as a young child. When I was seven years old my mum met my stepdad. I remember a lot of fighting, arguing and violence as my stepdad controlled my mum, she had to leave her job and he would follow her to the shop. He made the sitting room into a living room for my mum, me and my sister were not allowed in. During this time, we all experienced a lot of trauma.
I remember as I grew older, I started going to raves and taking ecstasy, amphetamines and taking downers like jellies and Valium. I went to a dark place as I got addicted to all of the benzodiazepine family and prescription drugs. My sister left the house at 16. Her partner was a drug dealer so I would deal cannabis for him. He was also involved in gangland warfare, and when his brother and best friends were murdered, I was constantly looking over my shoulder. I lived in fear, leading to OCD, paranoia, and deep depression.
I went to a dark place as I got addicted to all of the benzodiazepine family and prescription drugs.
I ended up homeless was in bed and breakfasts and hotels. Around this time my brother-in-law sadly took his own life, and my sister was left with three kids. I remember one night I couldn’t get any drugs and I was phoning enemies putting my life in danger trying to get drugs but I couldn’t. As I was coming off the drugs, I started to hallucinate; thinking I was on the news and talking with people who weren’t there. By the grace of God my mum came to check on me and managed to get the doctor out to see me. I was prescribed antipsychotics, but once I recovered from that I just started using again. I tried to take my own life and was sectioned under the mental health act and detoxed in the hospital. I was violent, going in a downwards spiral and got caught shoplifting. I was convicted of assault, living a life of total brokenness and madness.
I eventually went to court when I was 20 years old, thinking I was going to prison but instead I was given a year’s deferred sentence. By the grace of God, there was a lady in the jury who gave me a cuddle and said: “God has given you a second chance”.
I ended up doing a Bible study with a woman who put a leaflet about God through my door. She shared the Gospel with me every week. I remember breaking down and was so sorry my sin had caused the Lord Jesus to suffer and die on the cross and my sin had grieved the heart of my Father in heaven and it cost him his only begotton son that I could be forgiven and set free and have new life in Christ.
There was a lady in the jury who gave me a cuddle and said: “God has given you a second chance”.
I got baptised and grew in the Lord, who opened doors for me. I was allowed to work in social care even with my criminal conviction. I got married, have three beautiful grown-up daughters and my relationship with my mum has been restored.
I have the privilege to work for Street Connect, a Christian organisation sharing the gospel and having the wonderful privilege to let others know that Jesus can change and transform lives. God can take anyone from darkness into his light, from the dominion of Satan to his kingdom. I have a passion for others to know this new life and transformation can be their reality too, and to live in the full abundant life that is there in Jesus. I now have a wonderful family in the Lord and am blessed to continue to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Saviour. I am grateful to have a relationship with the God of all compassion, who comforts us in our tribulations so that we can comfort others with the same comfort we have ourselves received from God that is at the heart of all I do.
You can reach out to Street Connect on their website here.
If any of these issues have affected you, you can call Premier Lifeline for support. Premier Lifeline is a national, confidential helpline offering a listening ear, emotional and spiritual support from a Christian perspective. If you would like someone to talk with and pray for you, call Premier Lifeline on 0300 111 0101.