As a self-sufficient, successful Christian woman, am I too eligible to date?

Sophie Sanders reflects on her journey of being labeled “intimidating” and “too eligible” in the dating world. Through prayer and Scripture, she’s learning that God’s plan for love isn’t limited by checklists or cultural expectations.

A few years ago, I was caught off guard when a guy told me that I was intimidating. To be honest, I thought he must be delusional as – from my perspective – I’m approachable, encouraging, and altogether nonthreatening. So, I conducted a straw poll amongst my married male friends. Without exception and much to my bewilderment, they nervously said I’d be super intimidating to date because I present as a self-sufficient, successful, scholarly, and sophisticated woman – their words, not mine. In the words of Miley Cyrus, ‘I can buy myself flowers and talk to myself for hours’ or, as the viral TikTok video from earlier this year described women like me, I already have my evenings planned out feat. wine, a two-hour bubble bath, and a rewatch of Pride & Prejudice, and there’s no space in my itinerary for a guy.