Marriage restored and other testimonies

Marriage restored

My husband and I have lived overseas since 2012, and we have been married for 15 years. A couple of years ago we felt we needed to permanently relocate to a country in East Africa where we had lived on and off before. We were both excited about it, and were in a great season in marriage. 

As soon as we arrived, we experienced an intense season of spiritual attack on our marriage. Our relationship became marked by criticism, frustration, anger and irritability – no kindness, no benefit of the doubt. I would cry every night. We  married when we were both 20, and my husband and I both have strong personalities, but I think I had catered my personality around my husband. I am not a quiet, submissive person by nature – I am loud and a natural leader – but I think I have always tried to be more in the background. Some of that was due to my church culture growing up, and some because as a loud kid you get told to be quiet a lot. As I was stepping into who God has made me to be, it came alongside all these marriage woes. I knew it was a spiritual attack.

My husband is one of the loveliest people I know, but this distance and irritability between us continued for a long time. The tension between us was exhausting. I felt burned out, with no energy.

The picture that God gave me was of my husband and I hiking up a mountain. True to his apostolic nature, and his love of adventure, my husband would choose the most direct route to the top, but it was the steepest. He would be skipping up to the top with a little backpack on, while I was coming up behind him literally dragging a boulder’s weight of what mattered in our lives to keep us strong and healthy. We would get to a peak, and he’d say: “That was great, let’s keep going!” and I would be almost dead.

Last year, I realised I couldn’t do it anymore. While packing for a short furlough in the US, I felt the Lord tell me: “Pack like you are not coming back in eight weeks.” I travelled first, so had three weeks without my husband, and they were sweet weeks with the Lord.

I felt the Lord gave me a picture of my husband and I walking into ‘counsellor’ Jesus’ offices. My husband had his arms crossed, looking grumpy and not making eye contact with Jesus. I was looking at Jesus with tears in my eyes, saying “Please help us, we’re desperate.” In my vision, the Lord reached across the table and grabbed both of our hands and said, “I just love you guys together, this is some of my best work. I am so happy that you are married to each other.” Then he said to me, “OK, you can go, I am going to hang out with my boy.” I left the office and Jesus was waiting for me outside. He said: “Let’s go have fun together!” and that’s what that season was like for me and the Lord.

Over the first six weeks in the US, we had multiple people come up to us to say we needed to be in America longer. I was having dreams about not going back to East Africa. I knew we needed to get our marriage in order, and we would not be able to do it in East Africa where it would be easy for me to bury myself in work, but my husband was determined to go back.

Finally, after much prayer, my husband agreed to stay for six months, saying: “While I want to go back to our home in East Africa, I care about you more than I care about the work.” In that time, we did therapy and counselling, and ‘The Keep Your Love On’ series by Danny Silk, which was so good. I was hoping for a dramatic change, but it wasn’t like that. It was slow and often unseen, and by the end of the six months I wasn’t confident that we were out of the woods, but things seemed to be improving.

I was really nervous about coming back to East Africa, but I felt the Lord say, “Trust me.” We came back a few months ago, and I arrived back to discover my marriage completely healed! Kindness has been restored to our marriage – there is no critical spirit remaining. We have no tension and (almost) no fighting. It feels like our marriage has stepped into a beautiful, new season. We went on a second honeymoon about a month ago by the sea.

It sometimes bothers me that I can’t point to a single moment of breakthrough, but there were definitely moments in those two years when I didn’t think I could continue in the marriage, but, praise God, here we are on the other side. I don’t know where the attack came from, and I don’t know how it went. But it is gone. We now have the best version of marriage I could ever have imagined. My husband is so thoughtful, kind and generous. No more criticism against me, no more tearing me down. We have stepped into something deeper and better. I had never weathered a marriage storm before and I hope to never again, but God showed himself faithful. He is for us and for marriage, and, as long as both people are willing to continue fighting for unity, there is hope!

Sue

God provided a university flat

After visiting over 20 rental properties in six weeks, I became an expert flat viewer. Examining the walls and ceilings for signs of damp; running a tap to check the water pressure; asking all the right questions about contract lengths and furniture and management. I saw some disturbing things during my search; flats in conditions that should surely be illegal. But other flats offered glimmers of hope. One place was next to a church. I thought: “Surely that’s a sign, God?” Another flat was literally inside a church! “This must be from you, God?” So we put offers in, hoping for a miracle. But offer after offer was rejected, and each rejection brought a wave of disappointment. I began to ask: “Where are you God?” At one point, my soon-to-be flatmate asked me if it was time to lower our standards. Yet even though the start of term was fast approaching, it didn’t feel right to settle for subpar. 

I couldn’t trust the estate agents to help us find a place to live – they made so many false promises. And I started to question if I could even trust God to help. The search became very emotionally draining, and although I found some comfort in worship songs and scripture, over time the discouragement grew and I subconsciously began to distance myself from God. 

Two weeks before term started, all the emotions came to a head. I had just turned down two unsuitable flats, and I was feeling so guilty. I knew my decision to say no also affected my flatmate, and I didn’t want to leave her without a place to live. I spent that day filled with stress and anxiety as I begged God to provide for us. I think I prayed more fervently than ever before. I steeled myself to begin the search once again and booked a viewing for two days later. The morning of the viewing, I woke up feeling at peace. My mum assured me that this would be the last day of the flat hunt. Part of me was doubtful, but one phrase stuck in my mind: “I have cried out to God, and he has heard my prayer” (see Psalm 120:1). And so he had. We viewed the property and paid a holding deposit straightaway, and we moved in four days before term started. Amazingly, the flat was a 20-minute walk to university – exactly the distance my mum had been praying for. Several of the properties we had viewed were a 40+ minute commute away, so we had never imagined living so close by.

The main lesson I took from this experience was perseverance. When we’re waiting for something, especially something we need, it can be confusing, frustrating and so, so tiring. But God showed me that he is always faithful. He provided for us right on time.

Amara

What’s your story?

Testimonies are an important way of encouraging each other in faith and we’d love to hear your personal experiences of God, whether that’s a miracle story or Jesus standing with you in the storm. 

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