In our fortnightly column ‘Great Sexpectations’ we answer your questions on sex, faith and intimacy. Drop us an email on womanalive@premier.org.uk and ask us anything. Here, the Woman Alive team answer a mother who is looking for more support from her church.
Photo by alex starnes on Unsplash
Dear Woman Alive,
I found your magazine through your podcast which I somehow came across and started listening to. I am not a Christian, in fact I was raised by atheists, but I have a real desire to know if God is real. What do I do? Do I just go to a church - I know there are different denominations, how do I know the right one to go to. What does a person have to do to become a Christian?
Dear Reader
Thank you so much for writing, and for your openness. A desire to know whether God is real is not something to dismiss, and you don’t need to have certainty or prior belief to begin exploring these questions.
You don’t have to do anything first. Christianity often begins not with answers, but with curiosity, exactly where you are now.
You don’t have to do anything first. Christianity often begins not with answers, but with curiosity, exactly where you are now. Many Christians didn’t grow up believing, and plenty started from a place of doubt, questioning, or simple wondering.
READ MORE: What happened when porn-star cried, ‘Jesus, Buddha, God, whichever one of you is real, save me.’
You asked whether you should go to a church, and how to know which one. Different denominations can look and sound quite different, but most are centred on Jesus, who he was, what he taught, and what his life might mean for us today. It’s okay to visit more than one, or simply to observe and listen for a while.
One very popular way people explore Christianity, especially if they don’t come from a church background, is through something called the Alpha Course. Many churches around the UK run it, and it is in most cities. Alpha is designed specifically for people who are curious about faith and want a safe space to ask questions, no matter how basic or sceptical. It usually runs in churches and community settings, and involves short talks about Christian belief followed by open discussion. You’re never expected to agree or sign up to anything, it’s simply a place to explore.
READ MORE: My whole family came to faith through Alpha
At its heart, Christianity isn’t about earning your way in or meeting certain standards.
You also asked what a person has to do to become a Christian. At its heart, Christianity isn’t about earning your way in or meeting certain standards. It’s about responding to an invitation, choosing to trust, or begin to trust, that God is real and wants relationship with us. For many people, that trust grows slowly and imperfectly, alongside questions.
READ MORE: From meeting to marriage in one month: a testimony of God’s faithfulness
Some people find it helpful to start by reading one of the Gospels in the Bible, these are the stories of when Jesus walked the earth (Mark or Luke are good places to begin), or by praying a very simple, honest prayer, even something like, “God, please help me to know you. Please forgive me of going my own way, and come into my heart.”
We’re really glad you found the podcast, and we’d love to continue the conversation if that would be helpful. Please feel free to write again, there’s no such thing as a wrong question here.
If any of these issues have affected you, you can call Premier Lifeline for support. Premier Lifeline is a national, confidential helpline offering a listening ear, emotional and spiritual support from a Christian perspective. If you would like someone to talk with and pray for you, call Premier Lifeline on 0300 111 0101.
Our Great Sexpectations column is written by a number of different contributors who make up the Woman Alive panel. The views expressed do not necessarily represent those of the publisher. If you have a question for us, email: womanalive@premier.org.uk
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