Lauren Windle thought she had put her clubbing days well and truly behind her, but she would consider a glorious return for Atlanta’s Christian nightclub ARK.

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Source: Maurãcio Mascaro / Pexels

I am writing this on a flight back to London from Sodom and Gomorrah Ibiza. I flew out for a friend’s 30thbirthday (extravagant, I know but if it’s good enough for a hen do, it’s good enough for a bday).

It wasn’t my first visit to the Brit-infested Balearic party island. Exactly ten years ago – in my years BC – I flew out and hit every club that would grant my drunken, gurning form access. I had “fun” the kind of fun that you can’t remember but through the haze of your come-down, you’re convinced was worth the small fortune you spent on it.

This time round was very different. I enjoyed dishes of paella so big; they pull over another table to accommodate them. I lay by the pool and the sea and rested, chatted and napped. I strolled around the shops and treated myself to two scoops of delicious gelato that melted down my hand quicker than I could stem delicious overflow. It was glorious.

This is the kind of nightclub experience I wish I had had back in my partying days.

I had no desire to party whatsoever. But, if I had been in Atlanta, Georgia, near latest club concept ARK, I may have thought differently. I recently stumbled across ARK, which claims to be the first Christian nightclub, on TikTok (of course I did). After conducting some full research, I’m convinced we all have to go.

I know, it’s an expensive group trip, but hear me out… this is the kind of nightclub experience I wish I had had back in my partying days. Firstly: no alcohol. Halleluiah. Genuinely halleluiah. We do not need to be drunk to dance. Why do so many of us believe we do? I can’t wait until sober partying becomes more mainstream. Second: No bumping and grinding. No one feels the need to put on a sexual display. The gyrating is left at home. Halleluiah again. Third: there is no secular music. This one needs some further explanation. They aren’t playing Matt Redman and a classic collection of hymns and worship music, instead it’s Christian Hip-Hop, rap, R’n’B, and even drill, all mixed by DJs of faith.

I assumed an alcohol-free event would be boring. Dry in more ways than one. But I have since been proven wrong,

I remember before I had been to an event that was alcohol-free, I assumed it would be boring. Dry in more ways than one. But I have since been proven wrong, and if you can’t imagine it, I encourage you to check out ARK’s Instagram page to see just how lively a Christian booze-free event can get. It pops off. 

So what do you say, you, me, the WA team and everyone else who fancies all the party without the debauchery? You check the flights and I’ll get working on the matching T-shirts.

Check out ARK’s Instagram page to see what all the fuss is about.