The most powerful moment in the new Spider-Man movie wasn’t a superhero battle – it was three words from Aunt May

I am that annoying mum whose only memory of the previous Spider-Man film was that incredibly sad coffee shop scene where a vacant and memory-wiped Zendaya (“Mum, it’s MJ”) nonchalantly serves her star-crossed lover coffee as his heart breaks. (And I only saw that because I’d timed dinner to be ready then.) But I found myself with a ticket to the latest instalment in ‘Tom Holland’s Marvel Universe’ because we’re on holiday and I have nothing else to do.

As you may have inferred, I can take or leave (preferably leave) the comic-book fight scenes and web-slinging around New York.

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My attention was piqued when MJ grabbed her coat for her “first” flight across the city (although she doesn’t remember this journey either, it turns out) because… THAT’S MY COAT! A wave of smugness rushed over me. I’ve been wearing Zendaya’s TK Maxx coat for the past four years (until it was relegated while I searched for my depilling gadget to remove the winter-white fluff clinging to the lapels thanks to a cheap Primark scarf). Anyway, when they finally stopped with the edgy darkness, I realised her oversized tweed coat was similar to mine—but not the same. (By then I’d also been distracted by the relief that she’d unknowingly chosen the perfect oversized shirt for her stay at The Punisher’s bachelor pad.)

But this is where the piece gets to the point (“Finally!”) and where you’ll want to stop reading if you care about spoilers.

The subplot involves a vulnerable young woman whose traumatic past has left her isolated and manipulated. 

The subplot involves a vulnerable young woman whose traumatic past has left her isolated and manipulated. Through a series of flashbacks, we discover her sister sacrificed herself to protect her, and that those she trusted were not the heroes they appeared to be.

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The emotional pinnacle of the film comes when Jean is finally able to enter Peter Parker’s mind. She returns to the treasured memory we’ve already seen: Aunt May, perched on the edge of Peter’s bunk bed in glamorous gold platform sandals, speaking words of love, warning and truth into the life of a teenage boy just beginning his journey as a superhero.

At the crucial moment, Jean takes Peter’s place and hears those same words for herself. This is how the now-dead Aunt May saves the day. She becomes the true hero of the film, communicating to Jean everything her own mother, or another trusted woman, should have told her. Those few words become the turning point that prevents catastrophe and rescues a city on the brink.

We don’t all have memories of a glammed-up aunt speaking love and truth into our lives at pivotal moments.

We don’t all have memories of a glammed-up aunt speaking love and truth into our lives at pivotal moments. But I hope you can remember someone who spoke the right words at just the right time, words that changed the way you saw yourself and gave you the confidence to keep going.

I have one rather pathetic, but deeply significant, memory from when I was eight. After watching me play the violin at a school concert, my friend Matt told me his mum thought I had “good cheekbone structure”. Such an odd compliment! Yet I clung to those words whenever my hairbrush got tangled in my Brillo-pad hair, when a museum curator mistook me for a “laddie”, and when my best friend got to be the princess because she owned a bridesmaid dress while I was cast as the clown because I didn’t.

The words of youth leaders, babysitters, teachers, parents and the other trusted “aunts” in our lives can be profoundly formative. Aunt May probably had no idea that the conversation she shared with a teenage Peter Parker would one day rescue a broken woman and, ultimately, save an entire city. Yet that’s exactly what the film suggests happens. What makes her words so powerful is that they don’t simply affirm Peter, they prepare him. She builds him up while also warning him that following the right path will be costly. That kind of wise, loving realism is far more valuable than vague affirmations, generic platitudes or AI-generated encouragement that could apply to anyone.

Who might still be drawing strength today from something you once said? Our words have the power to linger in someone’s memory for years, shaping the way they see themselves long after we’ve forgotten speaking them. So be generous with your encouragement, make it personal, make it truthful, and, if it helps people remember your wisdom, perhaps wear gold platform sandals while you’re delivering it.