Broadcaster and author Ruth O’Reilly-Smith explained that when she felt at her lowest God invited her to journal with him and it transformed their relationship.
When I look back at my old journals, I see that most of the entries are prayers of honest reflection, unbridled worship, heart-felt repentance, desperate cries for mercy and agonising laments. Many of the pages are tearstained with weighty concerns and deep longings. In this space, I see my brokenness before my maker. This is me at the feet of my Lord. The raw, untidy, imperfect, yet beautiful me, unhindered, laid bare and unashamed in the presence of Jesus.
And, every now and then, I stop myself from closing my journal and hurrying off into my day. I close my eyes for a moment and whisper, “Speak Lord, I’m listening,” and I take my pencil and start writing again. This time, it’s a message from God to me.
The raw, untidy, imperfect, yet beautiful me, unhindered, laid bare and unashamed in the presence of Jesus.
What would God say if you readied yourself with a notebook and pen and asked him to speak to you? I am a child of God, I am his daughter and his beloved, so based on who I am in Christ and what I read of him in the Bible, I let my thoughts flow and whatever comes to mind, I write down. This is one of the most tangible ways I commune with God and the record of these beautiful interactions always leaves me feeling affirmed, precious beyond measure, forgiven and free.
I don’t journal every day, but my heart sings when I do. As Lent 2020 approached, I sensed that God wanted me to journal, but rather than write in my notebook, I felt I should type what he said. Within days, I knew this was unlike anything I’d written before. As tears streamed down my face, I felt the love of God pour through the words and onto the pages in front of me.
At the time, Covid19 was quickly spreading across Europe and all we heard on the news was filled with fear, panic and uncertainty. I’m a radio broadcaster so I felt the pressure of needing to speak life and share hope with our listeners, all the while I was grappling with my own fears.
As tears streamed down my face, I felt the love of God pour through the words and onto the pages in front of me.
The commitment I made to journal with God every morning throughout Lent wasn’t only the impetus that got me started though. It was the horror of a global pandemic and my desperation to hear from heaven that kept me coming back for more. I sought out this quiet space every morning and God’s word strengthened and sustained me.
One morning the Lord told me that these letters were for a greater audience and in September 2021, God Speaks – 40 Letters From The Fathers Heart was published by Authentic Media. Along with the publication of the book, I set up a website and I’ve just kept on writing. Jesus invited me into a whole new adventure with him and although I’m still hesitant and often lack the faith I need, when I draw near, quiet my heart and ready myself, I can hear his still, small voice cheering me on.