How I found freedom in surrendering

I flat out did not want to leave. Moving across the world looked impossible, and it felt like a death.  Our family would be venturing over the Atlantic from Texas to become church planters in France, and, while I was pro-adventure, my heart broke in two. Why? Because I had spent a decade working tirelessly on becoming a published author. The dream realized on my native soil, but what would happen if I moved away from my readership? 

As I worked through my angst, I chastised myself for a myopic, small view of God. Wasn’t God big enough to carry my book writing career? Why was I so afraid? Perhaps the pain lingered because I felt Jesus calling me to lay down a dream, to surrender every possible outcome to him as I ventured into the unknown world of living on foreign soil.  

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And that’s when a song pierced through my dark thoughts, a snippet from “Be Thou My Vision”, that would surprise me in various places: random publications, grocery store music (oddly!), and friends sending notes.  

Riches I heed not nor Man’s empty praise 

Thou mine inheritance now and always. 

Thou and Thou only, first in my heart. 

High King of heaven, my treasure Thou art.  

The Lord used those words to help me surrender. After much prayer, counsel, and guidance from Jesus-loving friends, I got on my knees and gave Jesus my future, fears, career, and anything else terrifying me. “You can have it all,” I prayed. “You are my treasure. Forgive me for treasuring something other than you.”  

Peace didn’t come instantly, but as I continued this act of surrender, the angst left.

Peace didn’t come instantly, but as I continued this act of surrender, the angst left. If I lost my career, so be it. If we suffered on the mission field (we did), the Lord would work in and through it. Such freedom came when I laid every worry down—and let God write the next chapter of our story. 

You may not be facing an international move, but perhaps you’ve had a similar experience of gripping something so tightly you cannot seem to let go of it or think of anything else. This pervasive worry consumes you, but you no longer want it to dominate your life. There’s a way through—surrender.  

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To surrender is to let go of outcomes. But we don’t stop with merely releasing. Letting go is a good first step, but we must follow that up with entrusting all potential outcomes to the One who holds the universe together. Jesus taught the crowds about this kind of surrender. “If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it” (Luke 9:24). We must release our grip on our expectations, worries, and fears to let Jesus make something new of our lives.  

Will everything go as you hope? Probably not. Life has a way of throwing obstacles our way. 

Will everything go as you hope? Probably not. Life has a way of throwing obstacles our way. But will God be with us as we walk through unknown doorways? Absolutely. He will not abandon you on your surrendering journey. In fact, he will use that time to grow you. Paul was convinced that God is a finisher of his work—in you. “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns” (Philippians 1:6). 

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Take heart. You are not the sum of your fretting about an uncertain future. You are not defined by what keeps you awake at night. The power of surrender is this: As you lay down all your cares before Jesus, he takes them, bears them, and gives you a lighter burden (See Matthew 11:28-30).  

When I surrendered my career to the Lord as we moved overseas, I naively thought my decade of work toward publication would be lost. In that surrender, I truly laid down that authorly dream. I expected I would no longer write books. Though the thought of that loss stung, I knew that Jesus would be the greater treasure, worth far, far more than a publishing contract.  

As I look back on our time as missionaries, I can see how much beautiful work God did in my heart on French soil. Every lesson I learned became fodder for the fifty books I would go on to write.