‘I was harassed by men who joked about taking my virginity’

Jessica Stark writes about the shame, guilt, and anger she felt after being sexually assaulted in broad daylight; questioning herself despite knowing it wasn’t her fault. Her reflection challenges the self-blame women often take upon themselves.

There are many emotions swirling as I try to put words to this: shame, guilt, anger. Why was my first thought about what I was wearing? Did I somehow invite it? Did I give him a look that suggested I wanted attention?

I’m 23, and I don’t have a neat answer for how to navigate moments like these. I can’t offer a checklist on how to avoid sexual assault. But perhaps I can offer something else, the reassurance that you are not alone.

It was nearly 5:30pm on a Monday evening in London and the streets were busy with the rush hour commuters returning home. I was one of those commuters, tired and ready for dinner. The sun was still out (hallelujah! summer is returning). Slowly walking up the street I caught  myself chuckling as I passed a parent wearing suit and tie juggling three children and a briefcase. That will be me one day, I thought.