Why do Christian women find it so hard to say no?

There’s a widely held assumption that ‘yes’ is always the correct response for believers. Drawing on the story of Mary and Martha in Gospel of Luke 10, Katherine O’Neill suggests that at times ‘no’, can be the wiser, more loving, and more faithful choice.

If we say no, we’re being bad Christians, surely? Selfish. So we reason. We grit our teeth and do the ‘right thing’. But what if we’re wrong? What if, sometimes, no is the right answer?

Remember Mary and Martha? Mary has refused to help with the housework: she wants to be with Jesus. So Martha appeals to Him to set her sister straight. And Jesus shocks us. He doesn’t say ‘Mary, do the right thing, help your sister’, as we might have expected. But neither does He say ‘She should do what she wants’; the secular perspective that most of us find inadequate. He says ‘Mary has chosen the better part’ (Luke 10:42). She has said No to the housework, because she values the time with Jesus above all – and He backs her.