What singer Olivia Rodrigo’s heartbreak taught me about hearing God

Olivia Rodrigo’s third album, released on 12 June, is the unexpected outcome of listening to her gut. Now 23, she already had two critically acclaimed albums, Sour (2021) and Guts (2023), under her belt as she set about writing her new album. She was also in a brand-new relationship, and not just any relationship. She was happily in her first proper ‘adult’ relationship, and it promised to deliver all the inspiration and stimulus for an album dedicated to the heights and depths of being in love. Or so she thought.

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After the initial rush of excitement, however, her romance started to unravel, all while writing her album, so she had to pivot: you seem pretty sad for a girl so in love is the result.

After the initial rush of excitement, however, her romance started to unravel, all while writing her album, so she had to pivot: you seem pretty sad for a girl so in love is the result. On it, Rodrigo “assesses an ultimately doomed relationship from beginning to breakup in real-time detail — the raw thrill of a new connection…the abandon of falling hard…the unexplained itches…the stomach-churning realisations…the acceptance of the end…”, as described by the New York Times’ Popcast. Even if you’re not focusing on her evocative lyrics, the music itself tells the story — from carefree and melodic at the outset to angsty, urgent and pensive, to despondent and finally resigned. Scoring Rodrigo’s emotional journey and internal conflict at times meant dispensing with her typically catchy punk-pop for, among others, acoustic folk, piano ballads, new wave synth-pop, as well as some soaring cinematic strings. It’s all necessary to tell the truth.

Woven through the album is the idea that the romantic ideals and aspirations we assign to new relationships (which could also be applied to job prospects, friendships and more) are best navigated with our eyes wide open. Because our sense of hope might be the very thing that blinds us to the realities staring us squarely in the face, unless we listen to our gut. And Rodrigo has done that; from her initial disquiet, she processes the whole confusing, angering, heartbreaking experience. Coming to her senses on what’s wrong with me (a duet with The Cure’s Robert Smith), she sings of her now ex-boyfriend: “I think you’re what’s wrong with me”.

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We’re often validated for being cerebral and rational. 

We’re often validated for being cerebral and rational. But this can effectively disconnect us from our deeper selves — to the point that we forget how important our intuition is. Something which has more to do with our bodies and nervous systems, initially, at least, than our brains. We often ‘know’ things before we know them, but can easily rationalise our sensitivity away unless we have learnt how to listen to it, which is ultimately about trusting ourselves. Until I started doing this, I would try to convince myself out of the unease I felt about a situation, or the misgivings I had about a person. But we often sense unhealthy dynamics, or physical and emotional danger, viscerally, in our gut, long before our brains catch up and make sense of it.

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We might be blissfully unaware of any deeper currents at play. But when they do show up, rather than push them away, we owe it to ourselves to pay attention to what they reveal; about the situation, yes, but also about our own tendencies and insecurities. Like the patterns learnt in our families of origin, or the scripts we have acquired over time. Or indeed, those belonging to others that we’re all too easily absorbed by if we’re not noticing what our intuition is trying to tell us. It might be hard to put into words, but things like anxiety, fear, discomfort and even disgust can be signals to prayerfully address something and take some kind of action.

As Christians, we might have questioned whether listening to our gut is even a biblical idea. In my experience, it is often how the Holy Spirit, combined with my own human intuition, gets my attention. I have now learnt that I ignore it at my peril, even if I still have to weigh it up. The Holy Spirit seems to heighten my own natural sensitivity and will nudge me when things are out of balance. For me, journalling was especially important when I went through a bad break-up and helped me to process my experiences, as I mentally and emotionally parsed out what my gut already knew. It helped me to understand my feelings, find language and make sense of things that only became clear in hindsight. This, Olivia Rodrigo knows only too well.