Shame must change sides: Tamar, Gisèle Pelicot, and the courage to bring injustice into the light

When French survivor Gisèle Pelicot stood outside court, having waived her right to anonymity, and stated that “shame must change sides”, she connected with a biblical truth which has been obscured for far too long. Through medieval suspicion, Victorian prudishness and even the purity movement in the evangelical church, shame for sexual sin has predominantly been laid at women’s feet. But contrary to those persistent beliefs and practices, you don’t need to look too far to see that the injustice of this has in fact been laid bare since Genesis. 

In the story of Tamar in Genesis 38, we read of a woman who has been mistreated by family and dishonoured in the worst way possible. It finishes with Judah confessing that “she is more righteous than I”. However, if we skip to that part, we miss the facts and the receipts of the narrative. That Tamar was a brave disruptor of the false piety both of the age, and of her father-in-law.

The public ‘reveal’ of Judah’s behaviour bears the hallmarks of Pelicots open trial, reframing it not as a personal scandal but as a calculated tool for justice. 

The public ‘reveal’ of Judah’s behaviour bears the hallmarks of Pelicot’s open trial, reframing it not as a personal scandal but as a calculated tool for justice. Tamar forced him to confront his own dishonesty and neglect, and in doing so shifted the shame to its rightful place.

Judah had been prepared to burn Tamar alive for an act he personally had committed with impunity. 

Judah had been prepared to burn Tamar alive for an act he personally had committed with impunity. These double standards have unfortunately long been a feature of societal discourse in sexual ethics. But true repentance requires the perpetrator to acknowledge their sin and not only take it to God, but to bear the community accountability of the justice system. 

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Tamar could easily have slipped away into quiet widowhood, but she chose to expose the injustice meted out upon her by her in-laws and not maintain the shroud of silence required to uphold Judah’s injustice. In doing so, Tamar experienced further indignity in being condemned to death and this is often mirrored in how women experience the aftermath of disclosure and even the justice system in modern times.

However, her perseverance is inspiring and echoed in Gisèle Pelicots courage who also refused to stay silent. She could have left her husbands shame in the shadows, but both women refused to accept a life of marginalisation.

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When Pelicot refused a closed-door trial, she was insisting also on a fulfilment of Luke 12: 3, which states that “Whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight”. Transparency is where healing can start to take place, with the power of community confession seen in James 5:16 as vital to that process. At a time in the UK when nearly a third of all women have experienced domestic abuse, there has never been a more important moment for the church to learn from both Tamar and Gisèle’s courage. 

Since Pelicot’s remarkable stand for justice, other women have subsequently waived their right to anonymity in similar cases. Unfathomable suffering has happened in the dark but as Christians we should never be afraid to bring injustice into the light. In speaking up as she did, Tamar earnt her place in the genealogy of Jesus, who never wavered in ‘doing justice’ when it came to women. From the woman with the issue of blood, to the Samaritan woman, Mary of Bethany and so many others, he emulated back then what has become a modern anthem of justice for women, that “shame must change sides”.