How I found a deeper story in the biblical narrative of David and Abigail

I love the Bible stories of David,  the boy destined to be king, a man after God’s own heart. I love that he failed, married, and repented many times.

Abigail was beautiful and intelligent, the only woman in the Bible so described. She was also courageous, not hesitating to ride out and meet four-hundred armed men coming to kill her family because of her husband’s arrogance.

There are fairy-tale elements as to how quickly she falls in love, not thinking twice about going to David when her husband dies, but underneath is a much more realistic – a much more human story. When she left, Abigail was simply the widow, she took nothing except five serving women. Oddly, it was this verse in Samuel that caught my eye, it was this verse where my story began.

People are nuanced and complicated, it’s how God makes us. 

People are nuanced and complicated, it’s how God makes us. As we go through life we can become broken and damaged; we find ourselves carrying unwanted baggage, struggling with forgiveness and shame.

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These five serving women, powerless but observant, are no different. Of course, David and Abigail’s relationship alone would have been an adventure, but add the politics, the infirmity, and the fear, and you have a real-life story that is at once amazing and redeeming but also harsh and frightening. As these women began to take shape under my pen, I realised I was also beginning to find God in the centre of their brokenness.

When I read scripture, and I just take it at face value, I find it can still change me; move me; turn me aside. But when I dwell on it and use the wonderfully creative gift of imagination, I find the words can go from monochrome to vivid colour. This is what I set out to do when I began to write Radiant and along the way I found that the characters inside the story drew me inexorably closer to God, down in my own broken places.

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The God of the Old Testament can seem distant and unfathomable – the author of endless rules; often disappointed and angry. He was not perceived to be the intimate, kind father of the prodigal son. He was seen as holy; remote, and at first I thought this might have been how these five women perceived him.

Women of this time were often defined by the man’s story; their marital status or the number of children they carried.

Women of this time were often defined by the man’s story; their marital status or the number of children they carried. I wanted to explore how they might see themselves, and so while this is the story of David and Abigail, it is also the story of Abigail’s handmaidens, who live in the shadow of David and his relationship with God.

These women are deeply flawed and frail, like me, but I began to understand that they had their own view of God and where to find him. It made me realise that God was in my darkest places too, that the damaged bits of me were the parts he used, time and time again. That nothing is wasted or untouchable.

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The anxiety I have battled with since I was a small child has become a part of who I am, and God has used it to build a reliance on him and a deeper knowledge of myself. That I grew up feeling invisible helps me better see those that God puts in my path. The things I drag around with me – the scars; the wounds that still weep a little; the new lies I inadvertently swallow – these are the things that help me relate to others and hopefully, them to me.

I am God’s beloved child. He delights in me, just as he delights in Abigail and her handmaidens. Those few words in Samuel are only the framework of their magnificent story. I set out to bring them to life, and in doing so I discovered a new depth and breadth to my own view of God and where he might be found.

Radiant – Abigail and David’s story as told by her handmaidens is available here.