As heavyweight boxer David Haye reveals he’s in a non-monogamous relationship, writer Lauren Windle looks at polyamory in the Bible and asks why there was so much of it if marriage is supposed to be for two?
When it comes to big showbiz stories - there are some you just see coming. For example, the media storm around Prince Harry, it would not have taken someone with the gift of prophesy to foresee the turbulence the royals are now facing. Some stories though, just come out of nowhere. And that’s how I feel about Boxer David Haye’s “throuple”.
If you missed it, here’s the run down; heavyweight David Haye has been spending a lot of time with former Saturdays’ singer Una Healy and a model called Sian Osborne. There were rumours flying around that the celebs were in a three-way relationship. These have now been confirmed by David’s nearest and dearest who say he has told them about the “arrangement”.
The sexual revolution brought with it a number of unconventional approaches to sex and relationships and one of those is the idea of “non-monogamy”. This can play out in many ways; an open relationship, swinging, polygamy and polyamory. After some Googling I can confirm that a “throuple” is where three people enter into a “committed relationship structure”.
After some Googling I can confirm that a “throuple” is where three people enter into a “committed relationship structure”.
This is obviously not the dynamic encouraged in the Church but it did get me thinking. There are plenty of multiple-wife families in the Bible, in fact the likes of Abraham, Jacob, David and Solomon all had many wives. So, what’s the deal with Christianity and polyamory?
At first, with my un-theologically-trained mind, I thought that it could be one of those Levitical laws that was beautifully fulfilled in Jesus and now redundant, like not sitting on a chair when it’s previous occupant was a woman on her period, or not eating prawns. But a bit of research suggests there was never a moment where the law changed and having multiple wives went from Godly to ghastly.
Much like the tandem bike, the Bible says God designed marriage for two. In Genesis 2:22-24 we read: “Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Time and again we see conflict and destruction in the Bible as the result of the multi-wife model.
In the cases where Old Testament patriarchs took multiple trips down the aisle, the Bible describes them as part of the lifestyle of the Middle eastern culture but never gives them a favourable review. Looking at these non-monogamous families more closely, not one was portrayed in a positive light. Time and again we see conflict and destruction as the result of the multi-wife model. This can be said of Abraham, Jacob and David but possibly most notably Solomon whose 700 or so wives led him into idolatry and turned him away from God (1 Kings 11:4).
As David Haye, Una and Sian continue to explore their romantic triad. I would encourage anyone toying with the idea of doing the same to heed the advice of those who went before us. If we were to learn from our biblical forefathers, I think we can all conclude that when it comes to relationships three’s a crowd – and 700’s a lust-fuelled downfall of your own design.