As Christian women, how can we wait well?

Waiting is one of the hardest things we are called to do as Christians. Whether it’s waiting for breakthrough, direction, healing, or in my case, waiting to meet a husband, it can feel like life is on pause while everyone else moves forward.

I got married at 44 and when I told my God-set-up marriage story to some young students, the girl’s faces fell, as when you are 20, anything beyond 30 seems so old. Last week I was interviewed on Premier Christian Radio’s Saturday Breakfast Show, where I was asked to share some of the lessons I’ve learned about waiting. It prompted me to think about what actually did help me in the waiting, and I hope that what I share here might encourage you in your own season.

READ MORE: Trusting God in the waiting

If a husband is what you are waiting for, it’s important to acknowledge we are not promised marriage when we give our lives to Jesus. That can be a difficult reality to sit with. And yet, Scripture also reveals God’s heart toward relationship: “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18) “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22)

In the waiting, I reminded God of those verses, while also trying to not put the thing I was waiting for, above God, and therefore making it an idol.

My dad died in 2020. I had always prayed that I wouldn’t be single when he died.

My dad died in 2020. I had always prayed that I wouldn’t be single when he died. The day after his death I went for a walk. I was 43, very single, living in my teenage bedroom at my parent’s house. I was working in a job I knew it was time to leave, and with no clear purpose or plan for my future. I had no home of my own and life felt like a dead end. It was the lowest point of my life, and yet, God was there. I felt His comfort and strength. As I walked in the Norfolk countryside, I felt him say, ‘A man will always let you down, but I will never let you down.’ I knew then I didn’t need to get married. My future was safe, because God was in it, and he really is enough. I still wanted to get married, but I knew I would be ok if it didn’t happen. God is enough.

READ MORE: I wrote a book on waiting on God for my husband….and this is what happened next

When it seems like everyone else is getting the blessing you are hoping for we can begin to ask questions like Is God really good?

When it seems like everyone else is getting the blessing you are hoping for we can begin to ask questions like Is God really good? Can He do it for me? Has He forgotten me?

That’s why anchoring ourselves in Scripture is so vital. In a previous role, I memorised Psalm 103 with my team. The verses remind us that God “satisfies your desires with good things.” Not just things, but good things. His goodness is not theoretical; it is personal. Meditating on truth recalibrates our hearts when circumstances try to tell a different story.

READ MORE: Waiting for God

In 1 Samuel 30:6, David is described as strengthening himself in the Lord his God when everything has gone wrong in his life. He didn’t wait for someone else to lift him, he turned intentionally toward God. For me, this looked like: Worshipping even when I didn’t feel like it – which I believe opens the way up for God to move (Psalm 50:23: He who sacrifices thank-offerings honours me and prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God.’

After I felt God had given me a promise about marriage from Zechariah 4:6 ‘Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord Almighty’ I acted as if it was already done – i.e buying a blue linen shirt for the future husband I had not yet met, inspired by the testimony of Mia Fieldes.

Like Daivd, ask God for strategy, not just relief. Ask him for a promise, or a specific scripture to carry you through. Waiting is not wasted time, it’s training ground. God builds resilience, intimacy, and clarity in these hidden seasons.

I also sought out tesitmonies to strengthen my faith. I wanted to focus on what God was doing, and celebrate that, instead of looking at my lack. This was key.

Jesus gives us a clear instruction in Matthew 6:33: “Seek first the kingdom of God… and all these things shall be added unto you.” In my mid-thirties, when I was still single, and aware that I didn’t want marriage to become and idol, I left everything to go and work with drug addicts in Hong Kong for six months. I found that when my focus shifted from what I didn’t have to what God was doing, everything changed. 

One of the most important lessons I learned was to guard against settling. In Genesis 16, Abraham and Sarah, tired of waiting for God’s promise, took matters into their own hands, and Ishmael was born. A solution born out of impatience rather than promise. In seasons of longing, we can become vulnerable. It can be tempting to accept “almost right” instead of God’s best. But waiting well requires discernment. Not every opportunity is from God. Not every relationship is meant to be pursued. Trust that what God has for you will not require you to compromise your values, your peace, or your identity.

One of the Bible passages that carried me through is Psalm 27: “I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”

If you are waiting, for marriage or anything else, I want to encourage you: your waiting is not meaningless. He is in the waiting. God is at work, even when you cannot see it. He is forming something in you that could not be formed any other way. And whatever the outcome, He remains good.