God is far more interested in who you are becoming than what you are building

Through Lent and Easter I’ve reflected on the deep formation God does within us – pruning, transforming and shaping us to walk as His beloved in every season.

As spring flowers break through the softened ground of May, I think of the little buds bursting from seeds planted long ago. I think of the person I’m becoming as I let the deeper work of God take root within me.

I once heard Dallas Willard say something like: “The main thing God gets out of your life is not the achievements you accomplish. It’s the person you become” (my paraphrase). I return to this often, usually when I slow down enough to notice that I’ve drifted. Because, if I’m honest, I can become so focused on what I’m doing for God that I forget what God is doing in me.

The projects.

The progress.

The visible fruit.

Yet it’s often in small, slow beginnings that God does His deepest work. Real growth begins when we recognise our dependence on Him. In the quiet work of formation in the way of Jesus, the tiny seeds of faith begin to grow.

The pruning process

I have two beautiful fiddle-leaf fig plants in my lounge. During winter they sit fairly dormant – maybe one leaf will grow throughout the whole season. But as soon as the air warms and sunlight pours through the skylight, wide green leaves unfurl, catching the light like arms opening to the sun.

Every so often I notice the bottom of a leaf beginning to brown. If I leave it, the sickness spreads. So I prune. I always feel a little sad, because for a moment the plant looks like it’s missing something. But removing that dying leaf allows more nutrients to reach the healthy ones, and before long the plant grows again and deep green leaves unfold steadily through the summer.

I can become so focused on what I’m doing for God that I forget what God is doing in me

Without pruning, the plant can’t grow to its full potential and eventually growth is stunted. It reminds me that there is a careful attentiveness in the gardener’s work, even when it looks painful.

Today I trimmed one of those dying leaves, and I thought of the parts of me that need to die too – the things God needs to trim away so I can flourish.

The death-to-self reality of the Christian life is often what we most want to avoid, yet so much in us needs to die. False attachments. Impatience. Pride. Envy. The need to be right. The need to be seen. We must allow God to prune us, trimming away the dead leaves and facing the parts of ourselves we would rather avoid, so that the light and love of God can reach deeper within us.

Ongoing transformation

In the way of Jesus, the purpose of formation is to become people of love. But that transformation takes time. Tim Keller once said, in a sermon on desert times, we often pray: “Lord, make me happy; make me strong; make me loving; make me wise,” but God doesn’t “zap anyone into character”. We want it instantly, yet we resist the pressing, stretching and refining – the process through which God forms us.

That process is not easy. Like the Israelites in their 40 years of testing, our own wilderness experience exposes our weaknesses. It often brings suffering. But if we turn toward God in it, suffering produces depth or, as Paul says in 2 Corinthians 4:17 (ESV), “an eternal weight of glory”.

Character and strength are often formed in our hardest seasons.

So, who am I becoming?

On my good days, I see that I’m becoming someone who is learning to trust God in every season. I’m aware of my deep need for Jesus and of my tendency to move ahead in my own strength. I’m open to the pruning and the deeper work of formation.

Other days, I’m less attentive. I fall into familiar traps. I forget the truth. I drift. I resist. 

Yet it is the steady rhythm of the practices of Jesus that slow me down, make space for God’s voice and invite me to walk with Him in the ordinary moments of my life. I’m learning to trust Him step by step, knowing His will unfolds as I walk with the Spirit. I’m also learning that I will never outgrow my need for formation.

In an article for Transforming Center (transformingcenter.org), Ruth Haley Barton wrote: “There comes a time in the spiritual life when one of the major things God is up to is to lovingly help us see ourselves more clearly…to wake up to the darkness within and invite the light of God’s presence to shine there.”

I like to think I’m becoming a woman who is less afraid of those shadowed places and more willing to invite God’s light into them. The woman God longs for me to be – loved, seen, known by the Creator of the universe.

It’s messy, this whole formation thing. I follow Jesus imperfectly all the time. But God is walking with me. The good news of Jesus is that He did it perfectly. So, when I miss the mark, God is there, trimming away another leaf, tending the soil, making room for more of Him.

And new buds keep bursting forth from seeds planted long ago. New leaves unfold. Patient transformation continues through every season.

So, who are you becoming?

What in your life might God want to prune away? Where are new buds emerging? Where is transformation already taking place?

Dallas Willard was right: the person you are becoming matters more to God than anything you accomplish – more than any ministry you build or vision you carry forward. And, as we follow Jesus, slowly and over time, we begin to look a little more like love.

5-minute Daily Examen: who am I becoming?  

The Daily Examen is a reflective prayer practice developed by Ignatius of Loyola in the 16th century, designed to help individuals become more aware of God’s presence in the rhythms of daily life. This exercise can be done at the end of the day or during a quiet pause.

1. Become still (1 minute)

Take a few slow breaths and settle your body.

Become aware that God is present with you.

You might want to pray: “God, you are here with me. Help me notice what you are forming in me.”

Let yourself rest in that awareness for a moment.

2. Look back with gratitude (1 minute)

Gently review the day.

Ask:

Where did I notice God’s presence today?

Where did I experience love, beauty or grace?

What moments am I thankful for?

Give thanks for even small things. 

3. Notice who you were becoming today (1–1.5 minutes)

Now bring the question into prayer:

“Who was I becoming today?”

Without judgment, notice:

When did I act from love?

When did I respond with patience, kindness, humility?

When did I act out of fear, control or hurry?

Simply observe the movements of your heart. This isn’t about shame – it’s about honest awareness before God.

4. Invite gentle pruning (1 minute)

Bring to God anything that needs releasing.

You might want to pray: “Lord, prune what keeps me from love.”

Offer Him:

moments you regret

attitudes you want transformed

patterns you’re beginning to notice

Receive God’s grace again.

5. Look ahead with trust (30–60 seconds)

Ask one simple question: What might God be inviting me into tomorrow?

Perhaps it may be:

slowing down

listening more

trusting more deeply

choosing love in a difficult situation

Close with a simple prayer: “God, continue the work you are doing in me. Form me into the likeness of Christ.”

Rest for a moment in God’s presence.