We aren’t meant to hold everything together

Psychotherapist Monique Thomas unpacks the cost of being there for everyone else, and shows us how our bodies are wired for recovery within safe relationships

When I told friends I had retrained as a psychotherapist, they unanimously said it made complete sense. One laughed and told me she feels like I’ve always been a therapist. I gravitate towards pastoral care in church settings and I’m grateful to be someone others turn to for support and wisdom. However, while it’s an honour to be alongside people during difficult times, there is a particular tension and specific kind of loneliness that can come from being the dependable one. The person who always seems fine.