Vicki Whent reflects on Zoe Ball’s decision to step back from her high-profile BBC role to support her daughter, and how it mirrors her own experience as a parent putting life on hold for her teenager. She draws a powerful parallel between parenting’s quiet sacrifices and the often-unnoticed love and provision of God.
Ever felt as though your life is on hold so you can be there for your teenagers? Zoe Ball does. Speaking on Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe’s Parenting Hell podcast this week, she explained that she gave up her lucrative $950,000 a year job fronting BBC 2’s breakfast show to be there for her daughter Nelly.
“I gave up work because she’s going to do her GCSEs, but she’s never here, she’s out with her mates, I’m like ‘I’ve given up work for you’,” Zoe lamented.
While Rob and Josh laughed along with Zoe at the irony of it all, the podcast really hit home for me because last December I also gave up work to support my son through GCSEs.
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I organised tutors, co-ordinated revision books, organised ‘chill out’ opportunities to help reduce stress levels
I organised tutors, co-ordinated revision books, organised ‘chill out’ opportunities to help reduce stress levels and liaised with his school pastoral team to ensure he had the exam support and adjustments he needed. He got through the exams and on results day was overwhelmed with how well he’d done, especially because he has an ADHD brain and had missed chunks of schooling due to anxiety.
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But did he want to go out with me, his dad and his brother for a meal to celebrate? No, he went out for dinner with three close friends who he said ‘got me through it all’. That evening, as he left the house and headed off to Pizza Express for the meal with his buddies, I can’t deny I felt a little upset. Hadn’t I worked hard supporting him, doing everything in my power to give him the best chance of success, how come he didn’t want to thank me? Of course, I didn’t tell him that, I’m thrilled he went out with his friends, but the niggle was still there.
It wasn’t until I heard Zoe talk about her efforts to support her daughter Nelly, that it occurred to me that this was the perfect image of our relationship with God.
It wasn’t until I heard Zoe talk about her efforts to support her daughter Nelly, that it occurred to me that this was the perfect image of our relationship with God. He spends time being there for us, putting things in place for us to ensure we succeed in our walk with Him, waits patiently as he watches us again and again live our lives often without acknowledging all He has done and continues to do. He doesn’t make his disappointment known, he just waits.
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It’s the parenting trap repeated by every generation. ‘I didn’t ask to be born’ I remember saying to my mother as one evening she berated me for flouting her rules and not respecting our home as she had asked me to. We live our lives and after our parent(s)/carers do everything they could for us so we could thrive, we then do the same for our own children. There’s rarely a thank you because we are too busy living the life they helped us achieve.
Just as with our Heavenly Father, our prayers don’t always acknowledge everything he’s given us, does for us and offers to us. So, as I go to bed tonight I shall keep Psalm 107:1 in mind and simply offer prayers of thanks and hold off on the list to requests and help.
‘Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever.’ Psalm 107:1
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