Women over 40 are being written off. But what if we’ve been looking for our worth in the wrong place?

There is a sign in my hairdresser’s that reads something like, “Don’t be so busy building a career that you forget to build a life.” I don’t really like it, perhaps because, in some ways, that was my story: a very busy career up until the age of forty.

However, it came to mind as I reflected on a recent Times newspaper article titled ‘I’m invisible now’: the high-earning women who can’t find work’. It was about women in their forties and fifties who are described as “high-flyers” but who, after successful careers, now find themselves “broke and unemployed”.

The article features women who once had very well-paid jobs and held senior positions but now find themselves sending out hundreds of applications without receiving responses and feeling at the mercy of an AI bot reading their CVs.

READ MORE: Thinking of going back to work? Here’s what no one tells you about career breaks

Increased competition is, of course, a reality in a shrinking jobs market and an environment of economic uncertainty. 

Increased competition is, of course, a reality in a shrinking jobs market and an environment of economic uncertainty. Added to this is a perception that youth is prioritised over experience – ironically, at precisely the age when women have an abundance of wisdom and experience to offer.

And yet what struck me most was not the advice about adjusting CVs or adapting to a world increasingly dominated by AI. It was the description of unemployment as “soul-destroying” and something that hurts one’s “pride”.

Don’t misunderstand me. I know the necessity of working to pay the bills and the biblical principle of work as an important part of human life and purpose – whether voluntary or paid. But those statements speak to something deeper: identity. If our souls are destroyed because we can no longer continue in a chosen career, what does that reveal about how we see ourselves?

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Relationships and circumstances change. Our identity in Christ does not.

I was having a conversation with a counsellee recently about how easily we allow not only jobs, but also roles such as daughter, sister, wife or mother to define us. To an extent, that is entirely normal. But all these things are fragile. Jobs disappear. Children grow up. Relationships and circumstances change. Our identity in Christ does not.

Surely, then, this is where we need to begin: child of God first, roles and jobs second. Our identity shapes our purpose, and purpose gives meaning to our lives. Life has meaning at every stage because, ultimately, it is not about where we are on a career ladder, but who we are and how we can faithfully use what God has given us for the good of those around us. I know that might sound rather twee when you are facing a large overdraft or wondering how you will pay the mortgage. But it is still true.

And I wonder whether simply encouraging women to grit their teeth, become more resilient and fight their way back into the workplace might actually be part of the problem. Dare I say it, it may belong to a wider cultural narrative that promised women they could “have it all” – when clearly, for many, that has proved an enormous struggle. Women are often the ones whose careers are interrupted to have babies or care for ageing parents. Surely caring for those we love should not be regarded as failure or wasted time, even while recognising the economic realities many families face. Yes, women may become invisible in certain workplaces after forty. But the Word of God tells us something radically different.

READ MORE: Is Titus 2 meant as a blueprint for biblical womanhood?

In Titus 2, older women are called to teach and encourage younger women. Their accumulated years are not treated as something that diminishes their usefulness but as something that equips them to disciple others. Unsurprisingly, wisdom is valued in God’s economy. After a lifetime of working, that is what I would want my nieces to hear: allow God to define your identity in Christ, and then make your decisions about life and work from that identity, rather than trying to fit Christ somewhere alongside them.

One woman in The Times article protested against the expectation of “midlife reinvention”. I understand the frustration. But change is part of being human. I feel as though I have reinvented myself over and over again – learning, growing and, I hope, using some of those accumulated experiences to serve others.

Perhaps the challenge for Christian women is not desperately to reinvent ourselves according to whatever the culture currently values, but to know what can change and what cannot. Our careers may change. Our roles change. Our bodies change. Our families change. But our identity in Christ does not.

The world may sometimes make women over forty feel invisible. God does not. In His economy, age does not erase our value or exhaust our usefulness. There is wisdom to share, people to serve, younger women to disciple and good work still to do. Our place on the career ladder may change, but our identity and ultimate security remain where they always belonged – in Christ.