Salomé Criddle, founder of TWIRL (Thriving Women In Real Life) shares how she learnt how not to lead from Miranda Priestly in the film The Devil Wears Prada.
I am a woman who wears many hats. One of these hats is leading a women’s movement. It’s arguably one of my most controversial and challenging roles to date. Balancing a variety of significant responsibilities is no easy feat. Often, people ask me, “Can your role as a founder affect your relationship with your husband?”
The answer is YES. It can be incredibly challenging to balance a healthy marriage and be a leading woman. I believe that it is important to navigate these responsibilities with wisdom and discernment. As a fan of The Devil Wears Prada, I have gained many insights that closely align with biblical teachings. One such insight is about ambition and kindness. Philippians 2:3 (NIV) says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” In this film, there is plenty of selfish ambition and vain conceit. The lead character Miranda Priestly demonstrates the opposite of what it means to love others well (Mark 12:30-31). Suffice it to say we can learn a lot from Miranda Priestly about how not to balance marriage and leadership.
Miranda Priestly is the queen of power plays. It affects every relationship that she engages in.
Miranda Priestly is the queen of power plays. It affects every relationship that she engages in. She despises vulnerability and it prevents her from having enriching relationships. Ultimately, her vain ambition contributes to her divorce. It is not unheard of for power plays to occur between leading women and their husbands. Personally, my husband and I have had to navigate power plays at one point or another in our relationship, the answer to overcoming challenges has been coming together in humility to seek healing.
Additionally, there’s the impact that being passionate about business can have on children. In the film, we see that Miranda has no time to spend with her young sons. She is driven by the success of her career. Mika Brzezinski’s book Know Your Value addresses the struggles she had with her daughter due to her intense work schedule. Her daughter resented Mika and she admits that finding balance was incredibly difficult.
I empathise with Miranda’s dilemma. We can’t get everything right all the time, but we can approach all our responsibilities with a Christlike grace.
Powerplays can occur when there are character clashes or scheduling conflicts. It is challenging when everything requires teamwork, investment and nurturing. We must be amazing mothers, friends, wives, and daughters, maintaining a deep relationship with God, caring for our bodies, staying attractive and contribute significantly to the family income. Balancing all these demands can be nearly impossible, often at the expense of our emotional and mental health. As a woman of vision, I empathise with Miranda’s dilemma. We can’t get everything right all the time, but we can approach all our responsibilities with a Christlike grace.
The Devil Wears Prada has made me more conscious of how the media often misrepresents women in leadership. In reality, women lead in diverse ways, and many are far less severe than the depiction in this film. When a woman leads the challenge of powerplays are inevitable. As challenges emerge, we must approach them with patience and humility, seeking guidance from the Holy Spirit through prayer to navigate each obstacle. Spending time with real leading women has shown me the gap between these portrayals and reality. Many of us wipe away tears regularly, face frequent rejection, and struggle financially despite our hard work. A healthy depiction of a leading woman includes these challenges. We aren’t all as emotionally dysfunctional as Miranda Priestly. We should all be shameless about our growth and bold about our journey. Change is slow, but resilience keeps us moving forward.
Every leading woman I have connected with has shared this truth. Beyond the painful challenges of leadership, we need a healthier narrative about what leading truly looks like.
The Devil Wears Prada has further emphasised that character is everything. It is more important than any role I play. Whether I am a wife, businesswoman or ministering to others, my heart must be in the right place to handle any role effectively. Clear communication with my team, my husband and anyone I work with ensures that we are on the same page and create a safe space for everyone. Establishing boundaries ensures that I manage all my responsibilities to the best of my ability.
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Unlike the unhealthy depictions of female leaders in the media, I strive to be authentic and balanced. Juggling everything I do is still incredibly challenging, but the mission and objectives drive me. The promises God imparts into our lives should motivate us all to continue to navigate with wisdom and care, no matter how tough it gets. His word says, “You will always harvest what you plant.” (Galatians 6:7, NLT) When we lead, we are sowing seeds. Our integrity, authenticity and investment into others will speak for us. When we guard our hearts (Proverbs 4:23) we initiate a chain of events that will bless the spaces that we influence. In our Heavenly Father, there is an abundance of wisdom to help us make wise choices as we lead. James 1:5 says “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” We are incredibly privileged because we don’t have to lead alone. That’s God’s promise to us.
Are you a leading woman struggling with gaining balance in your personal life and career? Let me close this article with some suggestions. Firstly, prioritise open communication with your spouse about your roles and responsibilities. Set boundaries to ensure you have time for both family and professional commitments.
Finally, remember you are not alone, seek support from fellow leading women who understand the unique challenges you face. Trust me, you’ll feel better for it.
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