With biblical wisdom and gentle encouragement, Sandie Eggers Seagroves outlines five Christ-centred traits to help women discern a husband who will truly love and lead like Jesus, she draws from decades of personal experience, including two marriages and a long season of waiting.
I’ve been blessed to know joy of marriage to a godly man. I’ve also known many difficult years of waiting, hoping, praying, and one-date-wonders. Most importantly, I’ve come to know that with God, it’s all worth it.
My first husband was my secondary school sweetheart and man of God. We were married for 27 years until Steve lost his battle with cancer and God called him home. Then, nearly 20 years later, I found a second godly man, David. We were married on May 17, 2025.
Through those 20 years between two godly husbands, I walked in faith…most of the time. Although I went wobbly on the faith walk, God didn’t. He is and always will be faithful. In his time, he always provides the best for us, his children. In that you can trust. (1Peter 5:6-7)
READ MORE: What is the “true purpose” of marriage for Christians?
So, I do know a thing or two about trusting God for a godly husband and about the qualities a Christian woman should look for in that husband. But what does “godly husband” mean exactly? Here are five key qualities that should help you determine if the man you’re dating is, indeed, a godly man.
1: Knows true love
The word “love” is much bandied about and, in the English language, can have a variety of meanings. But what is “true” love? For Christians, we understand true love as the love Jesus showed on the cross, dying for us while we were yet sinners. That is the same type of love that Christian husbands should have for their wives. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church, being willing to die for her. (Eph. 5:25)
My husband takes this vow very seriously; it underscores the sacredness of our relationship.
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2: Builds your house on rock
No matter whether your future husband doesn’t own a hammer or he’s an expert builder, all Christian husbands know how to build strong and secure houses: they build them on the “rock” of Christ. The godly husband is one who leads his household in both hearing and doing the words of Jesus. He covers his family in daily prayer and spiritual protection. In that way, no matter what storms may come, he and his loved ones are secure. (Matt. 7:24-27)
Although my husbands differed in their handyman skills, I have lived securely with each.
3: Daily brings you bouquets of fruit
Most wives love receiving bouquets of flowers. But no Christian wife would ever turn down a bouquet of fruits from her loving, godly husband. Fruits of the Spirit, that is. A godly man will daily cultivate and offer her fruits such as love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These fruits fill their home with the aroma of God. And it is these fruits that make living ever sweet. (Gal. 5:22-23)
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4: Exercises daily (Bible study, prayer, worship)
Having Christ at the center of our marriage allows us to rely upon his strength and ask for his help especially when times are tough.
We all know that regular exercise is important to physical health. It’s important in ensuring spiritual health as well. When you find a man who takes his Christian faith seriously–who truly wants to live for Christ–you’ll find he’s a man who exercises his faith daily through personal prayer, Bible study, and regular worship.
Having Christ at the center of our marriage allows us to rely upon his strength and ask for his help especially when times are tough.
5: Asks for directions
Most men don’t ask for directions; however, a godly man will. Redeemed by Christ, a godly man knows he is not his own but has been bought with a price. He understands he must submit his own desires for his life to God’s desires, humbly submitting his steps to God’s direction. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
No matter where our marriage takes us, with God as our GPS, we’re never lost. I hope that this article, dear sisters in Christ, has helped you better understand what is meant by a “godly” man. Although no marriage is without its challenges, when you do marry a man with such qualities, you’ll already have come a long way to building a strong, happy, healthy, and loving marriage.
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