GREAT SEXPECTATIONS: Why do I feel doomed to unrequited love?

In our fortnightly column ‘Great Sexpectations’ we answer your questions on sex, faith and intimacy. Drop us an email on womanalive@premier.org.uk and ask us anything. Here, Marcia Dixon answers someone who is tired of only experiencing unrequited love.

Dear Woman Alive

My history with men has been unrequited love. I am now in my 30s, and have been in love with two separate men over the last twelve years. I met them both at church, one from my uni church in Cambridge, the other from the church I went to in London. I led a student home group with the guy from Cambridge, and an Alpha group with the guy from my London church. I was good friends with both of them, and I hoped and prayed the Cambridge guy would decide he loved me, but I realised when he got engaged to someone else, he only ever cared for me like a sister. Both of these men treated me well, and didn’t lead me on. I just fell for them, as we got on so well, and they were both godly guys, and leaders in the church. (They were also the guys that all the girls liked, which was annoying!)

How do I get out of the trap of unrequited love? My brother said I am going for men out of my league, which really annoyed me, as I translated it as, ‘you are not pretty enough for them’. Maybe it is true? Please give me some hope and guidance!