‘I must use the time I have left wisely’

On 1 January I celebrated my 60th birthday. I can hardly believe I’m 60. Where did the time go?

My actual birthday passed quietly, but on 4 January my good friends treated me to a makeover; my face was made up, I put on an outfit chosen by a stylist, got picked up by an Uber and was taken to a West End hotel for what I thought was a celebration photoshoot with my family. Instead, when I opened the door to ‘the studio’ I heard the word: “Surprise!” I could not believe it. A surprise party had been lovingly organised for me.   

Surrounded by friends and family, I had a wonderful time. People said some lovely things about me, I laughed my head off due to the comedic antics of the host, Anthony Pass Da Mic King, and enjoyed a performance from my favourite gospel artist, Lurine Cato.  

Reflecting on faith

My birthday month started with a surprise and bang and I believe has set the spiritual tone for the decade to come. I have to confess though, similar to all my landmark birthdays (30, 40 and 50), the days leading up to it were approached with trepidation because my long-held desire and prayer to be married and have six children would now not be realised.   

When you reach big ages like 60, or even 50 for that matter, aside from giving thanks to God for life, you ask yourself several questions (well I did). They included: “How did the time fly so fast?”, “What have I achieved?”, “What new goals shall I set myself?” and “How much time do I have?” The last question is particularly pertinent because I now have more years behind me than ahead of me, which means I must use the time I have left wisely.     

Turning 60 has caused me to reflect on my faith and relationship with God. One thing that’s evident is how the Holy Spirit has directed my path and been my helper through life’s ups, downs, mistakes, disappointments and heartaches, decisions and successes.   

I am living a life I didn’t even dream of or expect. I grew up in East London, the daughter of Jamaican migrants, the middle child of seven. My ambitions were modest. I initially wanted to be a nurse, but that ambition changed to becoming a social worker upon attending university to study for a degree in social science. I never ever expected that my life’s work would entail writing about Britain’s Black Christian community – firstly as a columnist for The Voice, Britain’s leading Black newspaper, which at its peak had a readership of 250,000, and latterly as editor and owner of Keep The Faith magazine.

Even becoming a woman of faith who champions Christian values and shares the stories of the Black Christian experience via the media is a shock to me. Like many children born to Caribbean parents I was sent to Sunday School as a child. I enjoyed dressing up in my church best, listening to the stories taught by my Sunday school teacher, Mrs Phillips and receiving the end of year presents – usually beautiful hardback Christian books. However, as a teenager, I concluded that God did not exist (I don’t know why). I experienced a 360-degree turnaround when I got converted to Christianity at a youth crusade at the age of 15. It was a decision that took me on an unexpected path.

Despite not achieving my personal relationship goals – something that has caused me periods of deep disappointment – being a servant and follower of the Lord has enriched my life and those of others in so many ways.

Accomplishments and regret

I derive great satisfaction from knowing that my work, writing news stories, sharing people’s testimonies, interviewing Christians making a difference in the Church and the wider world has positively impacted those I wrote about, as well as inspired those who read my work. I recall one former prison inmate sharing with me how my column for The Voice newspaper was a major source of inspiration for his prison cell mates. I’m also proud of the fact that the PR company I founded – one of the first in the UK to specialise in providing services to help people reach the Black Christian community – has worked with some groundbreaking clients including Street Pastors, The NHS and The Wise Women Awards. And I can’t believe that I have received awards for my work, including an MBE for my work in the faith community.

Have I made mistakes? Yes, of course – some were due to the fact I didn’t take note of that still, small voice of the Holy Spirit. However, 1 John 1:8-9, written by Christ’s beloved disciple, reminds us all that we serve a God who is forgiving.

The key regret I have about my life is that I didn’t understand or have as much faith as I should have or could have when younger. I believed in God and scripture, regularly attended church and all that but on reflection I think I could have stepped out in faith more, trusted God more and had more courage to act on what I believed and learned about God.

That said, in my latter years I am making up for it. In my late 40s, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, I hosted a sell-out comedy show featuring leading comedienne and Christian Angie Le Mar. At 50 I launched a breakfast for women in ministry, at 58 I became publisher of Keep The Faith magazine, at 59 I commissioned the making of a documentary about women in ministry, which is set to be screened this year. I’m also scheduled to start a podcast where church leaders will illustrate how they’ve applied Christ’s directive to be a servant leader.

While these may not be earth-shattering projects, they are precious to me and are indicative that God is continuing to direct my steps.  

Looking ahead

I’m looking forward to what this decade has for me. I’ve taken to heart Job 8:7: “And though your beginning was small, your latter days will be very great” (ESV). 

I believe, where my faith is concerned, God is saving the best for last.